See you,
Izori
Monday, July 27, 2009
Off the N.C.
I'm leaving in an hour to go visit my grandparents in Southerns Shores for the week! Whohooo! So I guess that means I won't be posting.
See you,
Izori
See you,
Izori
Friday, July 24, 2009
Break from Elandai
You know, I think I'll take a small break now that I've finished "The Return to Elandai". I really enjoy writing them, but I'd like to spend more time on Sarea, seeing as that's the book I'm hoping to publish the most. Don't worry, I'm really wanting to write another book with Ben and Kaela, but that might be in a few weeks to a month.
Izori
Izori
Book Review: Clovermead: In the Shadow of the Bear
I copied from the back of the book. Very convenient :)
Clovermead: In the Shadow of the Bear
by David Randall
Twelve-year-old Clovermead Wickward's head is filled with stories of adventure. She dreams about the thrill of a sword fight and the excitement of heroic quests. The last thing Clovermead expects is for those dreams to come true. BUt it seems her father, Waxmelt, is not who she has believed him to be. As she becomes aware of strange new powers within her, Clovermead realizes that her father is harboring secrets that threaten to tear their small family apart.
At the same time, the good nuns of Lady Moon are waging war against the evil bear-priests of Lord Ursus. Suddenly Clovermead and Waxmelt find themselves thrust into the middle of an epic battle.
Clovermead comes to understand that the clash between good and evil is raging not only on the battlefield but alos within herself. Will she succumb to the temptation of evil, in the shadow of the bear, or will she fight for the salvation of good?
The book was good. Very engaging and exciting, and I think it's supposed to be an allegory. However, I wouldn't suggest it for younger readers. I consider myself a very mature 13 year old and I could have waited a year or two to read it. It's not like the romance was over the top; it was more like thematic elements. Clovermead finds this bear tooth that, when it gets dipped in fresh blood, it can summon bears. And then the tooth starts controlling her. And I didn't really like the 'surprising turn of events' at the end.
Overall, because it was so dark, I would suggest waiting to read it until you're maybe 14 or 15. But I'm still glad I read it. You can buy it from Amazon from a link on my sidebar.
Izori
Clovermead: In the Shadow of the Bear
by David Randall
Twelve-year-old Clovermead Wickward's head is filled with stories of adventure. She dreams about the thrill of a sword fight and the excitement of heroic quests. The last thing Clovermead expects is for those dreams to come true. BUt it seems her father, Waxmelt, is not who she has believed him to be. As she becomes aware of strange new powers within her, Clovermead realizes that her father is harboring secrets that threaten to tear their small family apart.
At the same time, the good nuns of Lady Moon are waging war against the evil bear-priests of Lord Ursus. Suddenly Clovermead and Waxmelt find themselves thrust into the middle of an epic battle.
Clovermead comes to understand that the clash between good and evil is raging not only on the battlefield but alos within herself. Will she succumb to the temptation of evil, in the shadow of the bear, or will she fight for the salvation of good?
The book was good. Very engaging and exciting, and I think it's supposed to be an allegory. However, I wouldn't suggest it for younger readers. I consider myself a very mature 13 year old and I could have waited a year or two to read it. It's not like the romance was over the top; it was more like thematic elements. Clovermead finds this bear tooth that, when it gets dipped in fresh blood, it can summon bears. And then the tooth starts controlling her. And I didn't really like the 'surprising turn of events' at the end.
Overall, because it was so dark, I would suggest waiting to read it until you're maybe 14 or 15. But I'm still glad I read it. You can buy it from Amazon from a link on my sidebar.
Izori
Elandai
As y'all may have noticed, I've changed the blog name to Elandai. And I also changed the layout (yes, I'm Irish. Not much, like an eighth or a quarter or something, but it still counts:)
Izori
Izori
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Chapter 20 (Going Home)
Wow, Chapter 20! If every chapter was a year, this book would be seven years older than me! And this is the last chapter too! *sniff* Nooooooooo! 
Chapter 20
Ben nibbled on a piece of bread as he vacantly looked out the window at the people down below. Hans was whittling something besides him, and Tristan was taking a small cat-nap on the floor.
"Here," Hans said, handing Ben a piece of wood and a knife. "Why don't you carve something?"
Ben briefly nodded and accepted them. He took one last look out the window. And then turned away. Wait, did I saw who I thought I saw? He looked back again and leaped up in surprise.
Making their way through the traffic were Kaela, Lindsey, Erithnae--and Yeshua!
He rushed down the stairs, narrowly avoiding stepping on Tristan. Hans looked after him. "Hey, Ben? Where...what on earth?"
Figuring that the cause for Ben's excitement was somewhere outside, Hans glanced out the window. And nearly screamed in delight.
"Tristan! Tristan!" he bellowed, shaking the sleeping boy. "Wake up! It's Yeshua!"
The other followers heard Hans yelling, and then the whole house was alive with joy. Ben had never come so close to crying as he did then, but not because he was sad. Yeshua's alive! he kept on repeating to himself. Yeshua's alive!
After the hubbub had died down a bit, Yeshua smiled. "I'm sure everyone knows what comes next!" he exclaimed. "A feast!"
Josh was about to ask where the food was, when Yeshua waved his hand at the table. Instantly it nearly disappeared under food of every kind! Bread, meat, fruit, vegetables, salads, souffles, puddings, pies...every food imaginable was there.
He was wondering where he should start, when Yeshua came up to him, holding something behind his back. "Care for a suggestion, Joshua?"
Josh sniffed. "Something smells familiar...yeah, sure. What's that behind your back?"
Yeshua pulled his hands out behind him and waved a livercream pie in front of Josh's face. "Care for some livercream pie?"
--- --- ---
The feast lasted for several hours. Everything, as Lindsey noticed, tasted so much more real then other food. The fruit was more juicy, the meat more tender; she wondered if it had anything to do with the fact that Yeshua made it.
When everything was finished, Yeshua gathered everyone around. "Ben, Kaela, Lindsey, Josh--you're time in Elandai is over."
Lindsey sighed. "Man, that was awesome! Thank you so much, Yeshua!"
Josh looked a little worried. "Will we ever come back?"
Yeshua smiled in a reassuring way. "All of you will come back someday. But even when you aren't in Elandai, I will still be with you, though you won't see me. And soon after you four go, I also will go up to my father, Adonai. So say your goodbyes now,"
Ben turned to Tristan and slapped him on the back. "Well, see you, Tristan."
Tristan patted him in return. "Have fun in your world, Ben."
They all said their goodbyes to the followers, and then stood in front of Yeshua. He smiled at each one, and then suddenly--
--Ben, Kaela, Josh, and Lindsey were standing beside their creek, back in their own world.
Lindsey blinked. "Wow," was all she could say.
Josh couldn't manage much more. "Were we...dreaming?"
Kaela grinned happily. "No, we weren't. And that's the best thing about Elandai; it's all one hundred percent real!" She turned to Lindsey. "So, are you happy you guys came to the creek with Ben and me?"
Lindsey smiled sheepishly. "Definately. And I'm really sorry about the way I acted. I would understand perfectly if you hated me for life."
Kaela smiled back. "Oh, that's okay. You certainly aren't like that anymore!"
Ben waved toward the creek. "Well, I guess we'd better be getting back to the house now, guys. C'mon, this way."
He led his sister and his cousins back across the creek and onto the other bank. When they had finished, Lindsey took one last look back.
"Do you know if anyone else has discovered Elandai?" she asked. "It would be so easy to find; all you have to do is walk across the creek and you're there!"
Ben shook his head. "We do know that Mom and Dad had at least one adventure in Elandai, but other than them, we don't know."
Josh suddenly started. "Hold on. We were gone for weeks! We'd better get home now!"
"Oh, don't worry," Kaela assured him. "Elandaian time is different from ours. In Elandai, weeks for them would only be a second in our time. See?"
She held her watch under Josh's nose. "The time's exactly the same as when we crossed over. It's 9:24 AM."
Josh could only shake his head.
"When do you think we can go back?" Lindsey asked her cousins.
Ben shrugged. "It really depends. It was nearly a month after our first adventure that Kaela and I were summoned into Elandai again. But for you two it could be different--maybe a few days, or maybe a year. But we might want to go back now, this is a good season for snakes."
Kaela shuddered. "Righto. Come on, guys, let's hurry. You really don't want to run into snakes around here!"
The cousins turned and walked away. But as Ben left the creek, he knew that it wouldn't be very long before they would have another adventure in Elandai.
The End
Chapter 20
Ben nibbled on a piece of bread as he vacantly looked out the window at the people down below. Hans was whittling something besides him, and Tristan was taking a small cat-nap on the floor.
"Here," Hans said, handing Ben a piece of wood and a knife. "Why don't you carve something?"
Ben briefly nodded and accepted them. He took one last look out the window. And then turned away. Wait, did I saw who I thought I saw? He looked back again and leaped up in surprise.
Making their way through the traffic were Kaela, Lindsey, Erithnae--and Yeshua!
He rushed down the stairs, narrowly avoiding stepping on Tristan. Hans looked after him. "Hey, Ben? Where...what on earth?"
Figuring that the cause for Ben's excitement was somewhere outside, Hans glanced out the window. And nearly screamed in delight.
"Tristan! Tristan!" he bellowed, shaking the sleeping boy. "Wake up! It's Yeshua!"
The other followers heard Hans yelling, and then the whole house was alive with joy. Ben had never come so close to crying as he did then, but not because he was sad. Yeshua's alive! he kept on repeating to himself. Yeshua's alive!
After the hubbub had died down a bit, Yeshua smiled. "I'm sure everyone knows what comes next!" he exclaimed. "A feast!"
Josh was about to ask where the food was, when Yeshua waved his hand at the table. Instantly it nearly disappeared under food of every kind! Bread, meat, fruit, vegetables, salads, souffles, puddings, pies...every food imaginable was there.
He was wondering where he should start, when Yeshua came up to him, holding something behind his back. "Care for a suggestion, Joshua?"
Josh sniffed. "Something smells familiar...yeah, sure. What's that behind your back?"
Yeshua pulled his hands out behind him and waved a livercream pie in front of Josh's face. "Care for some livercream pie?"
--- --- ---
The feast lasted for several hours. Everything, as Lindsey noticed, tasted so much more real then other food. The fruit was more juicy, the meat more tender; she wondered if it had anything to do with the fact that Yeshua made it.
When everything was finished, Yeshua gathered everyone around. "Ben, Kaela, Lindsey, Josh--you're time in Elandai is over."
Lindsey sighed. "Man, that was awesome! Thank you so much, Yeshua!"
Josh looked a little worried. "Will we ever come back?"
Yeshua smiled in a reassuring way. "All of you will come back someday. But even when you aren't in Elandai, I will still be with you, though you won't see me. And soon after you four go, I also will go up to my father, Adonai. So say your goodbyes now,"
Ben turned to Tristan and slapped him on the back. "Well, see you, Tristan."
Tristan patted him in return. "Have fun in your world, Ben."
They all said their goodbyes to the followers, and then stood in front of Yeshua. He smiled at each one, and then suddenly--
--Ben, Kaela, Josh, and Lindsey were standing beside their creek, back in their own world.
Lindsey blinked. "Wow," was all she could say.
Josh couldn't manage much more. "Were we...dreaming?"
Kaela grinned happily. "No, we weren't. And that's the best thing about Elandai; it's all one hundred percent real!" She turned to Lindsey. "So, are you happy you guys came to the creek with Ben and me?"
Lindsey smiled sheepishly. "Definately. And I'm really sorry about the way I acted. I would understand perfectly if you hated me for life."
Kaela smiled back. "Oh, that's okay. You certainly aren't like that anymore!"
Ben waved toward the creek. "Well, I guess we'd better be getting back to the house now, guys. C'mon, this way."
He led his sister and his cousins back across the creek and onto the other bank. When they had finished, Lindsey took one last look back.
"Do you know if anyone else has discovered Elandai?" she asked. "It would be so easy to find; all you have to do is walk across the creek and you're there!"
Ben shook his head. "We do know that Mom and Dad had at least one adventure in Elandai, but other than them, we don't know."
Josh suddenly started. "Hold on. We were gone for weeks! We'd better get home now!"
"Oh, don't worry," Kaela assured him. "Elandaian time is different from ours. In Elandai, weeks for them would only be a second in our time. See?"
She held her watch under Josh's nose. "The time's exactly the same as when we crossed over. It's 9:24 AM."
Josh could only shake his head.
"When do you think we can go back?" Lindsey asked her cousins.
Ben shrugged. "It really depends. It was nearly a month after our first adventure that Kaela and I were summoned into Elandai again. But for you two it could be different--maybe a few days, or maybe a year. But we might want to go back now, this is a good season for snakes."
Kaela shuddered. "Righto. Come on, guys, let's hurry. You really don't want to run into snakes around here!"
The cousins turned and walked away. But as Ben left the creek, he knew that it wouldn't be very long before they would have another adventure in Elandai.
The End
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Whew. That was a complicated book. Some people may think it's easy to write an allegory, but it's not really. Because you want it to be theologically correct, but you don't want it to just be an exact copy of the Bible. But they're so fun to write!
Thanks for reading this everyone. Comments and suggestions are greatly appreciated. I'm never too busy for comments!
Izori
Whew. That was a complicated book. Some people may think it's easy to write an allegory, but it's not really. Because you want it to be theologically correct, but you don't want it to just be an exact copy of the Bible. But they're so fun to write!
Thanks for reading this everyone. Comments and suggestions are greatly appreciated. I'm never too busy for comments!
Izori
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Chapter 19 (The Surprise at the Tomb)
Okay, I'm going to try and wrap this up in the next couple of chapters.
Chapter 19
The next days passed in a blur. Josh got up every day, hoping that there had been some mistake, and then Yeshua really wasn't dead. But soon it became obvious: Yeshua was seriously, honestly, unmistakably, dead.
It had been three days since that day when Kaela tapped Lindsey on the shoulder. "Hey, Lindsey?"
"Yeah?" Lindsey looked up from where she was drawing on the dusty floor.
"I'm going down to see the tomb. Wanna come with me?"
Kaela's cousin shrugged, but stood up. "Why not. We just have to watch out for Ogres, though. They haven't been particularly friendly toward us followers."
Kaela pursed her lips and nodded. Ben had just recently had a close encounter with an Ogre guard, and now the followers stayed at home almost all the time. Not like it's particularly pleasant outside; nine tenths of Mahal are celebrating, and one tenths are trying to keep a low profile.
Kaela walked over to the wall of her room and put her head-covering on. She had begun wearing it so that none of the Ogres would see her face. It seemed that the Ogres knew whether or not you were a follower by looking into someone's eyes. At least, that's what Ben had observed. Kaela had also taken to wearing traditional Elandaian garb; a long tunic with a cloak over that, and the women wore head-coverings.
Lindsey also covered her head, and Kaela grabbed her sword, concealing it under her cloak. Then they set out for the tomb.
Taking the back-streets and alleys, the girls avoided the main traffic. They arrived at Erithnae's house fifteen minutes after they had started out. Erithnae met them at the door when they knocked.
"Erithnae, just telling you, we're going to visit--" that was all Kaela said before Erithnae put his finger to his lips.
"Shhh. Some officials came by yesterday and posted guards around the tomb!"
"What?" Lindsey asked, in a low tone. "You're joking, right?"
"I wish I was, but I'm really not. They said something about making sure none of the followers removed the body, or something crazy like that."
"Do you think we can still visit it?" Kaela questioned.
Erithnae shook his head. "They won't even let me get near it, and I'm the owner of the property. I doubt they'll let you girls get close. I guess you could try...but I wouldn't if I were you."
Kaela couldn't have cared less, even if Erithnae had just said that the tomb was guarded by a two headed, fifty foot long, poisonous snake (and snakes were one of her big fears). "Well, I'm going to try to."
Lindsey stared at her cousin, shocked. "Really? Kaela, are you...um..."
She grinned wryly. "Don't worry, I'm perfectly sane. I'll be right back."
Kaela gathered up her tunic and strode determinedly, yet quietly, down the path leading to the tomb. For some unknown reason, her heart was racing much faster than it ever had.
She reached the bend in the path that if she rounded, she would have been in sight of the tomb. Cautiously, she peeked around the edge--and froze.
There were no guards, although there were swords with the official seal of Daran lying on the ground. And that wasn't what frightened Kaela.
The tomb was open.
Kaela distinctly recalled how the followers had closed the tomb; it had taken all of them, straining and grunting, to move a huge boulder into the mouth of the tomb. And that boulder was now rolled several feet away from the opening. From where Kaela stood, she could see one more very important detail.
The tomb was also empty.
She came closer, all her senses on the alert. Then she jumped back.
A man was standing by the tomb, his back toward her. He looks so familiar, Kaela thought. She hesitantly addressed him. "Uh...sir, there was someone I knew in that tomb. Do you know know if someone took their body away?"
The man turned, and instantly Kaela saw who it was.
"Yeshua!"
Yeshua laughed as Kaela ran to embrace him. Then she said, "We all thought you were dead!"
"And so I was. But now, as you can see, I am not."
"So, is it like Erithnae said? When you died, death was reversed?"
Yeshua nodded. "Yes, daughter. Now that someone who has done no wrong has died in the place of a fallen world, death no longer has it's hold. And Daran now has a mortal wound."
Kaela's eyes shone. "That's so...cool! But c'mon, we need to go tell the others that you're back again!"
The two set down the path, and then Yeshua said, "This is too slow-paced. Come on, let's run!"
Kaela had never felt so energetic as she bounded alongside her Master, both racing down the path to Erithnae's house. They arrived in record time.
Erithnae and Lindsey were standing by the house, talking in low tones. For a moment, they both stared at Yeshua.
"Well...?" Yeshua eyed them joyously. "What are you standing there for?"
Erithnae moved first. "Master!" he yelled, and then ran to him. "How in the world...? You're alive!"
Lindsey moved more slowly towards Yeshua. Looking into his eyes, she all of a sudden felt imperfect compared with him.
To her utter surprise, Yeshua opened his arms. "Come here, daughter."
Lindsey came. "I'm awfully sorry for being so..." Before she could go any further, her words were muffled by Yeshua's gigantic hug.
After the first greetings were over, Yeshua, Kaela, Lindsey, and Erithnae began the walk over to the followers house.
Kaela couldn't wait to tell Ben the good news.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
There. Optomistic writing is more my style.
My arm is so sore! We moved boxes from our storage unit back to the house yesterday, and then I played this earlier version of a Wii at a friends house. You have this sword thing, and then you have to chop up Ringwraiths and other Lord of the Rings stuff on the TV. It takes a surprising amount of effort.
Chapter 19
The next days passed in a blur. Josh got up every day, hoping that there had been some mistake, and then Yeshua really wasn't dead. But soon it became obvious: Yeshua was seriously, honestly, unmistakably, dead.
It had been three days since that day when Kaela tapped Lindsey on the shoulder. "Hey, Lindsey?"
"Yeah?" Lindsey looked up from where she was drawing on the dusty floor.
"I'm going down to see the tomb. Wanna come with me?"
Kaela's cousin shrugged, but stood up. "Why not. We just have to watch out for Ogres, though. They haven't been particularly friendly toward us followers."
Kaela pursed her lips and nodded. Ben had just recently had a close encounter with an Ogre guard, and now the followers stayed at home almost all the time. Not like it's particularly pleasant outside; nine tenths of Mahal are celebrating, and one tenths are trying to keep a low profile.
Kaela walked over to the wall of her room and put her head-covering on. She had begun wearing it so that none of the Ogres would see her face. It seemed that the Ogres knew whether or not you were a follower by looking into someone's eyes. At least, that's what Ben had observed. Kaela had also taken to wearing traditional Elandaian garb; a long tunic with a cloak over that, and the women wore head-coverings.
Lindsey also covered her head, and Kaela grabbed her sword, concealing it under her cloak. Then they set out for the tomb.
Taking the back-streets and alleys, the girls avoided the main traffic. They arrived at Erithnae's house fifteen minutes after they had started out. Erithnae met them at the door when they knocked.
"Erithnae, just telling you, we're going to visit--" that was all Kaela said before Erithnae put his finger to his lips.
"Shhh. Some officials came by yesterday and posted guards around the tomb!"
"What?" Lindsey asked, in a low tone. "You're joking, right?"
"I wish I was, but I'm really not. They said something about making sure none of the followers removed the body, or something crazy like that."
"Do you think we can still visit it?" Kaela questioned.
Erithnae shook his head. "They won't even let me get near it, and I'm the owner of the property. I doubt they'll let you girls get close. I guess you could try...but I wouldn't if I were you."
Kaela couldn't have cared less, even if Erithnae had just said that the tomb was guarded by a two headed, fifty foot long, poisonous snake (and snakes were one of her big fears). "Well, I'm going to try to."
Lindsey stared at her cousin, shocked. "Really? Kaela, are you...um..."
She grinned wryly. "Don't worry, I'm perfectly sane. I'll be right back."
Kaela gathered up her tunic and strode determinedly, yet quietly, down the path leading to the tomb. For some unknown reason, her heart was racing much faster than it ever had.
She reached the bend in the path that if she rounded, she would have been in sight of the tomb. Cautiously, she peeked around the edge--and froze.
There were no guards, although there were swords with the official seal of Daran lying on the ground. And that wasn't what frightened Kaela.
The tomb was open.
Kaela distinctly recalled how the followers had closed the tomb; it had taken all of them, straining and grunting, to move a huge boulder into the mouth of the tomb. And that boulder was now rolled several feet away from the opening. From where Kaela stood, she could see one more very important detail.
The tomb was also empty.
She came closer, all her senses on the alert. Then she jumped back.
A man was standing by the tomb, his back toward her. He looks so familiar, Kaela thought. She hesitantly addressed him. "Uh...sir, there was someone I knew in that tomb. Do you know know if someone took their body away?"
The man turned, and instantly Kaela saw who it was.
"Yeshua!"
Yeshua laughed as Kaela ran to embrace him. Then she said, "We all thought you were dead!"
"And so I was. But now, as you can see, I am not."
"So, is it like Erithnae said? When you died, death was reversed?"
Yeshua nodded. "Yes, daughter. Now that someone who has done no wrong has died in the place of a fallen world, death no longer has it's hold. And Daran now has a mortal wound."
Kaela's eyes shone. "That's so...cool! But c'mon, we need to go tell the others that you're back again!"
The two set down the path, and then Yeshua said, "This is too slow-paced. Come on, let's run!"
Kaela had never felt so energetic as she bounded alongside her Master, both racing down the path to Erithnae's house. They arrived in record time.
Erithnae and Lindsey were standing by the house, talking in low tones. For a moment, they both stared at Yeshua.
"Well...?" Yeshua eyed them joyously. "What are you standing there for?"
Erithnae moved first. "Master!" he yelled, and then ran to him. "How in the world...? You're alive!"
Lindsey moved more slowly towards Yeshua. Looking into his eyes, she all of a sudden felt imperfect compared with him.
To her utter surprise, Yeshua opened his arms. "Come here, daughter."
Lindsey came. "I'm awfully sorry for being so..." Before she could go any further, her words were muffled by Yeshua's gigantic hug.
After the first greetings were over, Yeshua, Kaela, Lindsey, and Erithnae began the walk over to the followers house.
Kaela couldn't wait to tell Ben the good news.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
There. Optomistic writing is more my style.
My arm is so sore! We moved boxes from our storage unit back to the house yesterday, and then I played this earlier version of a Wii at a friends house. You have this sword thing, and then you have to chop up Ringwraiths and other Lord of the Rings stuff on the TV. It takes a surprising amount of effort.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Chapter 18 (No Happy Ending?)
I'll try writing good, but I'm really bad at sad books.
Chapter 18
The wagon-driver halted the horses when they were still a good distance away from the temple. "Better get off here," he said. "It will attract less attention. By the way, my name's Erithnae. We've been in such a rush I haven't heard your names."
Tristan told Erithnae all their names, and then the six crept toward the temple.
Erithnae lead them towards an inconspicuous side door with such certainty that Ben wondered if he didn't know the temple inside out. They slipped inside and rapidly made their way towards the platform-altar at the other end of the large hall.
The other followers, with the exception of Garian, had already gathered around the altar. They looked up when the others approached.
"There you are," greeted Hans. He had circles under his eyes, and looked decades older. "Who is he?" he asked, pointing to Erithnae.
"I am Erithnae, a follower of Yeshua," Erithnae introduced himself. "I have kept silent about my faith for some time, but now I will not. I have a tomb in the garden behind my house we can lay Yeshua in. We might as well, because Daran will not spare such honors on him."
"Yes, we had better," Hans agreed.
Hans, Ben, and two other followers climbed onto the altar and reverently picked Yeshua up. Lindsey silently looked on. He sure looks dead.
The group quietly slid Yeshua's body onto the wagon, and then they set off for Erithnae's house. The followers walked on the side of the wagon, and Erithnae drove. Lindsey sat next to him.
"Erithnae, do you know much about Adonai and Yeshua?" she asked at last, breaking the silence. "Because I have a question."
"Ask away. I will try to answer, but I know little more then you, probably."
"Alright." Lindsey was silent for a second, and then burst out, "I thought...well, Yeshua was powerful, wasn't he?"
"Yes."
"And more importantly, Yeshua was Adonai, wasn't he?"
Erithnae nodded. "He was."
"So...why did he die? Couldn't he have stopped Daran? From what Ben and Kaela said, Yeshua could just squish him."
He took a deep breath. "Well, remember on the way to the temple, when I said that by letting Daran kill him, Yeshua was really killing Daran?"
"Yeah, but I guess I don't get it. Daran may die later, but Yeshua is dead."
"Is he?"
Lindsey looked very confused. "Um...I think." She looked back at Yeshua's body in the back of the wagon. "He--he looks dead."
"So maybe you don't remember what I said. Death itself would be reversed, you know. If you would just read the Book of Prophesies..."
--- --- ---
The followers put Yeshua in Erithnae's tomb, and then wearily went home to the place where they had stayed yesterday.
Un-energetically, Kaela climbed into the bed she shared with Lindsey. How in the world is this going to work out? she wondered before she drifted off into a restless sleep. I thought stories had happy endings. But maybe this one's different.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Izori
Chapter 18
The wagon-driver halted the horses when they were still a good distance away from the temple. "Better get off here," he said. "It will attract less attention. By the way, my name's Erithnae. We've been in such a rush I haven't heard your names."
Tristan told Erithnae all their names, and then the six crept toward the temple.
Erithnae lead them towards an inconspicuous side door with such certainty that Ben wondered if he didn't know the temple inside out. They slipped inside and rapidly made their way towards the platform-altar at the other end of the large hall.
The other followers, with the exception of Garian, had already gathered around the altar. They looked up when the others approached.
"There you are," greeted Hans. He had circles under his eyes, and looked decades older. "Who is he?" he asked, pointing to Erithnae.
"I am Erithnae, a follower of Yeshua," Erithnae introduced himself. "I have kept silent about my faith for some time, but now I will not. I have a tomb in the garden behind my house we can lay Yeshua in. We might as well, because Daran will not spare such honors on him."
"Yes, we had better," Hans agreed.
Hans, Ben, and two other followers climbed onto the altar and reverently picked Yeshua up. Lindsey silently looked on. He sure looks dead.
The group quietly slid Yeshua's body onto the wagon, and then they set off for Erithnae's house. The followers walked on the side of the wagon, and Erithnae drove. Lindsey sat next to him.
"Erithnae, do you know much about Adonai and Yeshua?" she asked at last, breaking the silence. "Because I have a question."
"Ask away. I will try to answer, but I know little more then you, probably."
"Alright." Lindsey was silent for a second, and then burst out, "I thought...well, Yeshua was powerful, wasn't he?"
"Yes."
"And more importantly, Yeshua was Adonai, wasn't he?"
Erithnae nodded. "He was."
"So...why did he die? Couldn't he have stopped Daran? From what Ben and Kaela said, Yeshua could just squish him."
He took a deep breath. "Well, remember on the way to the temple, when I said that by letting Daran kill him, Yeshua was really killing Daran?"
"Yeah, but I guess I don't get it. Daran may die later, but Yeshua is dead."
"Is he?"
Lindsey looked very confused. "Um...I think." She looked back at Yeshua's body in the back of the wagon. "He--he looks dead."
"So maybe you don't remember what I said. Death itself would be reversed, you know. If you would just read the Book of Prophesies..."
--- --- ---
The followers put Yeshua in Erithnae's tomb, and then wearily went home to the place where they had stayed yesterday.
Un-energetically, Kaela climbed into the bed she shared with Lindsey. How in the world is this going to work out? she wondered before she drifted off into a restless sleep. I thought stories had happy endings. But maybe this one's different.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Izori
Monday, July 20, 2009
I guess I'd better tell y'all when I got the time; I probably won't be posting very often. I'll try to squeeze something in when I can, but life's pretty hectic right now. We were selling our house, and then we found out my dad had cancer (please pray for him. He'll need a lot of radiation and possibly chemo), so now we're trying to not sell our house...anyway, things are getting sort of busy. Of course, don't let that stop you from posting comments!
Izori
Izori
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Strong Characters and Dark Plots
My friend asked me how to make strong characters, and I thought I'd might as well answer it on here. This is what works for me:
Base them on a real person. A lot of times, I base my main character, at least, on someone I know, including me. Ehra in Sarea for example. She's based on two real people: one friend for personality, and another for looks. If you think you'll get too attached to a character you're going to have die, then...I guess you could make up your own personality or something. I don't usually kill my characters, so I'm not much help there. I also base my bad guys on unsavory characters I know, or even historical ones (such as Sisera from Judges 4, or Judas Iscariot from Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John). Basing them on real people helps when you aren't quite sure how your character would react in a situation; simply have them act like the person they're based on would.
Put some of their background into it. Add something more personal about them, so the reader really feels that they know the character. I added a few pages in Sarea when Ehra is talking to her parents, whom she has a very close relationship with. I also added a chapter when Ehra and her sister are chatting with some gossipy village girls, showing how different they are.
My friend also asked how she could keep her plot from being so dark and gloomy. My suggestions are:
Add little children into it. They're so innocent and funny; it lightens up the plot right away. I am naturally very optomistic, so I don't tend to have this problem, but I do have it sometimes. Also add some family into it; if your character is an orphan with a sibling who's her mortal enemy, is running away from a cruel slaverwhile unwittingly falling into a trap their malicious sibling has set, it would make for an interesting story line, but it'd be extremely dark and...not very family-friendly.
Any more suggestions, anybody?
Izori
Base them on a real person. A lot of times, I base my main character, at least, on someone I know, including me. Ehra in Sarea for example. She's based on two real people: one friend for personality, and another for looks. If you think you'll get too attached to a character you're going to have die, then...I guess you could make up your own personality or something. I don't usually kill my characters, so I'm not much help there. I also base my bad guys on unsavory characters I know, or even historical ones (such as Sisera from Judges 4, or Judas Iscariot from Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John). Basing them on real people helps when you aren't quite sure how your character would react in a situation; simply have them act like the person they're based on would.
Put some of their background into it. Add something more personal about them, so the reader really feels that they know the character. I added a few pages in Sarea when Ehra is talking to her parents, whom she has a very close relationship with. I also added a chapter when Ehra and her sister are chatting with some gossipy village girls, showing how different they are.
My friend also asked how she could keep her plot from being so dark and gloomy. My suggestions are:
Add little children into it. They're so innocent and funny; it lightens up the plot right away. I am naturally very optomistic, so I don't tend to have this problem, but I do have it sometimes. Also add some family into it; if your character is an orphan with a sibling who's her mortal enemy, is running away from a cruel slaverwhile unwittingly falling into a trap their malicious sibling has set, it would make for an interesting story line, but it'd be extremely dark and...not very family-friendly.
Any more suggestions, anybody?
Izori
Friday, July 17, 2009
Guns, Archery, and Stuff
Just got back from shooting guns tonight. I do that, and archery, through a local 4-H club called Trigger Time (I know, it's not the best name, but it's actually much less juvenile than it sounds :). If you ask me (don't bother, I'll just tell you anyway) I'd say I prefer archery. I'm one of the people who keeps on hoping that someday they'll find a way to get into this fantasy world, and what would be more useful then, gun-shooting, or archery? And archery's just so more...cooler. The guns make that 'bang' sound and they're really not that great for stealth missions. And I'd much prefer to wear an arm-guard, finger-tab, and quiver then a set of glasses. That get all foggy when it's hot out.
Izori
P.S. Ëarwen, if you haven't noticed my comment yet, it'd be great if you can translate my name into real Elvish! You'd probably need my first name, right?
Izori
P.S. Ëarwen, if you haven't noticed my comment yet, it'd be great if you can translate my name into real Elvish! You'd probably need my first name, right?
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Elven Names
Found a website that tells you your Elvish name! Click here to see it. It's really cool! My Elvish name is Idril Elensar. Sir Wallace is Erestor Elensar. Mathilda is Luthien Elensar, and Tristan is Galdor Elensar.
Izori
Izori
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Chapter 17 (The Wagon-Driver)
I guess I'd better finish this thing up. This isn't the last chapter, but we're getting close
.
Chapter 17
Lindsey flung herself across the street, barely managing to make it in front of the wagon. The first Ogre chasing her, however, wasn't so lucky.
"Probably won't get up for a while," the wagon-driver said as he stopped the wagon and climbed down, referring to the Ogre. Then he turned his attention to Lindsey. "Are you alright?"
Lindsey nodded, still a little shocked.
The driver had to bend to get to her eye-level (not that Lindsey was short, but Elandians were taller than people from her world). "Why was 'e after you, missie?"
Lindsey gasped out her story as much as she could, not knowing why she was. After all, if she told it to the wrong person, she could get executed. However, when she finished with, "And I think there are still some more Ogres after me, so I'd better go!" the driver smiled.
"Hop onto my wagon," he suggested. "They won't find you there."
Lindsey wearily climbed onto the back of the wagon and crouched beside the produce. She was next to a basket filled with some odd fruit. They looked a little like a mango or an apple, but when Lindsey felt them, they were fuzzy like a peach.
The driver noticed her interest. "You can have one if you would like."
She bit down into the fruit. It tasted like a cross between a peach and a mango, only better. And as far as Lindsey was concerned, it had to be pretty good to be better than a mango.
They rode through the streets, this time more slowly, until Lindsey suddenly noticed Tristan, Josh, Ben, and Kaela, all huddled into a group. Crawling up next to the driver, she asked, "Can we stop? My friends are in the same trouble, too."
"But of course." The driver stopped and waved the children over.
"Lindsey!" exclaimed Josh at seeing his sister. "How in the world...?"
"Shhh!" Lindsey shushed him. "There are some Ogres over there. Get into the back, quick!"
They climbed into the wagon and started down the road again. Once settled, Ben warily asked, "Why are you doing this for us?"
The driver clicked his tongue at his horses to hurry them up a little. "I am a follower of Yeshua, also. Only I have not shown that I am until now."
"Where are we going?" Tristan questioned.
This time, the driver did turn around. "We are going to the temple."
Ben jumped, and Kaela put her hand on her sword hilt. "Are you sure you're a follower?" Kaela challenged. "My sword is sharp, you know."
The driver laughed. "Put thy sword away, maiden. I am positive I am a follower. We are going back to bury him. It's all we can do for what he did for us."
"What did he do for us?" Josh looked a little confused. "I'm not saying that he did nothing for us, but..."
"I know what you mean," the driver replied easily. "He gave Daran his mortal wound."
"Well, I'd hate to say it," said Ben. "But from where I stood, it looked like Daran gave Yeshua a mortal wound."
"Have you ever read the Book of Prophesies? If someone pure of heart, Yeshua dies to ransom a fallen world, Elandai, then death itself will be reversed. When Daran raised his sword, he was giving a wound to himself."
Kaela recalled Klii's words in the dwelling under the ground, long ago. He said something along the lines that Ben and I had come to Elandai to temporarily defeat Daran (which we did), but that it wouldn't be permenant. It would take someone better to rob Daran of his power. Someone like Yeshua.
She sighed. But Yeshua's dead.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To make up for chapter 16 being so long, this one's a little short.
I wouldn't have been able to write this one without reading "The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe" by C.S. Lewis (although I'm sure everyone knew that :)
Izori
.Chapter 17
Lindsey flung herself across the street, barely managing to make it in front of the wagon. The first Ogre chasing her, however, wasn't so lucky.
"Probably won't get up for a while," the wagon-driver said as he stopped the wagon and climbed down, referring to the Ogre. Then he turned his attention to Lindsey. "Are you alright?"
Lindsey nodded, still a little shocked.
The driver had to bend to get to her eye-level (not that Lindsey was short, but Elandians were taller than people from her world). "Why was 'e after you, missie?"
Lindsey gasped out her story as much as she could, not knowing why she was. After all, if she told it to the wrong person, she could get executed. However, when she finished with, "And I think there are still some more Ogres after me, so I'd better go!" the driver smiled.
"Hop onto my wagon," he suggested. "They won't find you there."
Lindsey wearily climbed onto the back of the wagon and crouched beside the produce. She was next to a basket filled with some odd fruit. They looked a little like a mango or an apple, but when Lindsey felt them, they were fuzzy like a peach.
The driver noticed her interest. "You can have one if you would like."
She bit down into the fruit. It tasted like a cross between a peach and a mango, only better. And as far as Lindsey was concerned, it had to be pretty good to be better than a mango.
They rode through the streets, this time more slowly, until Lindsey suddenly noticed Tristan, Josh, Ben, and Kaela, all huddled into a group. Crawling up next to the driver, she asked, "Can we stop? My friends are in the same trouble, too."
"But of course." The driver stopped and waved the children over.
"Lindsey!" exclaimed Josh at seeing his sister. "How in the world...?"
"Shhh!" Lindsey shushed him. "There are some Ogres over there. Get into the back, quick!"
They climbed into the wagon and started down the road again. Once settled, Ben warily asked, "Why are you doing this for us?"
The driver clicked his tongue at his horses to hurry them up a little. "I am a follower of Yeshua, also. Only I have not shown that I am until now."
"Where are we going?" Tristan questioned.
This time, the driver did turn around. "We are going to the temple."
Ben jumped, and Kaela put her hand on her sword hilt. "Are you sure you're a follower?" Kaela challenged. "My sword is sharp, you know."
The driver laughed. "Put thy sword away, maiden. I am positive I am a follower. We are going back to bury him. It's all we can do for what he did for us."
"What did he do for us?" Josh looked a little confused. "I'm not saying that he did nothing for us, but..."
"I know what you mean," the driver replied easily. "He gave Daran his mortal wound."
"Well, I'd hate to say it," said Ben. "But from where I stood, it looked like Daran gave Yeshua a mortal wound."
"Have you ever read the Book of Prophesies? If someone pure of heart, Yeshua dies to ransom a fallen world, Elandai, then death itself will be reversed. When Daran raised his sword, he was giving a wound to himself."
Kaela recalled Klii's words in the dwelling under the ground, long ago. He said something along the lines that Ben and I had come to Elandai to temporarily defeat Daran (which we did), but that it wouldn't be permenant. It would take someone better to rob Daran of his power. Someone like Yeshua.
She sighed. But Yeshua's dead.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To make up for chapter 16 being so long, this one's a little short.
I wouldn't have been able to write this one without reading "The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe" by C.S. Lewis (although I'm sure everyone knew that :)
Izori
Poll Results
The poll for 'Should I end Elandai with a book based on Revelation' (or something along those lines) has officially closed. 5 people voted yes, 0 people voted no. So...I think it's obvious that the yes people have it.
Izori
Izori
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Sibling Names
My siblings, especially my oldest brother, might be mentioned in my blog sometimes. So I'm going to give them code names: names that I made up and have in all my various books.
So, my oldest brother is going to be...hmmm, I guess I'll call him Sir Wallace. A crazy old knight, a little bit like Don Quixote (if I spelled that correctly. Don't worry, I'm famous, or shall I say infamous, for my spelling abilities :), who goes with my main character on a seemingly impossible journey in search of Camelot. I'm writing this book in my brain, but I might type it out sometime.
My sister is going to be Mathilda. I wrote a poem about a rather...unusual princess' coronation feast. I might post it sometime later.
And my last sibling will be called Tristan, one of the baby brothers of my sub-characters in Dun Zarum. Tristan is actually based on this sibling.
Izori
P.S. I believe this is my 100 post! Yipee!
So, my oldest brother is going to be...hmmm, I guess I'll call him Sir Wallace. A crazy old knight, a little bit like Don Quixote (if I spelled that correctly. Don't worry, I'm famous, or shall I say infamous, for my spelling abilities :), who goes with my main character on a seemingly impossible journey in search of Camelot. I'm writing this book in my brain, but I might type it out sometime.
My sister is going to be Mathilda. I wrote a poem about a rather...unusual princess' coronation feast. I might post it sometime later.
And my last sibling will be called Tristan, one of the baby brothers of my sub-characters in Dun Zarum. Tristan is actually based on this sibling.
Izori
P.S. I believe this is my 100 post! Yipee!
Chapter 16 (Yeshua's Death)
I'm hoping to make this chapter rather long, for a change.
Chapter 16
Lindsey blinked as she and the others slipped out the door leading into the great throne room of Daran for two reasons: one, because she had grown used to the dimness of the cell, and the throne room was much more brightly lit (it looked a lot like the Lincoln Memorial). The second reason was it was full of people. And no one had been expecting that.
Tristan gasped, and they all immediately flattened against the wall, trying to remain unseen. However, everyone seemed to be looking in one direction, the throne. Or rather, the platform that the throne was on.
There were a whole bunch of tall people in the crowd, making it impossible for even Ben and Tristan to see what was going on. They pushed through the multitude, trying to get closer.
In all the bustle, Kaela and Lindsey got separated from the boys. To avoid being separated from each other too, Kaela grabbed her cousin's hand. When she looked up, she gasped.
Without realizing it, the girls had reached the very front of the crowd, and they had a very good view of what was taking place of the platform. Two figures were standing on it. One was Daran. Kaela knew right away, even though she had never seen him before. The evil radiating from him would have tipped her off even if she hadn't even heard of him before.
Her first instinct was to whisper for Lindsey to get behind her. Daran would easily recognize her cousin, but probably not Kaela. Where's Ben? Kaela thought, starting to get nervous. If Daran sees him...
Then something caused Kaela to look harder at the second figure. He was bound, and his white robe had been replaced with some rough, dirty, fabric. He was cuffed and bruised, and someone had mockingly placed a crown of viciously sharp thorns on his head. But she still could immediately tell who it was--Yeshua!
She started violently, and gasped. Yeshua looked her way and saw her. He seemed to smile at her, trying to tell her it would be alright. But it isn't alright! They're going to kill you, Yeshua!
Kaela reached for her sword, ready to pounce on Daran, but something stopped her. Instead, she just stood there, silently watching as Daran smirked at his adversary. Then the evil master spoke.
"Well, we finally meet at last, Yeshua, and it appears you were wrong. I guess you won't be giving me a 'mortal wound' after all. Now I have you tied up, and it's you, not me who must beg for mercy. Will you?"
Yeshua didn't say anything, he merely looked at Daran, who seemed to quail before his steady gaze.
"Don't you understand what I'm saying?" Daran yelled, in a fury over Yeshua's silence. "I'm going to kill you, not the other way around. I won, not you!"
Yeshua was silent.
Finally losing his temper, Daran screamed angrily and shoved Yeshua, hard. He stumbled and fell, lying on the platform. To Kaela's chagrin, the crowd burst into laughter. Behind her, Lindsey gasped. "Why are they doing this?" she whispered into Kaela's ear.
Kaela didn't answer, only felt helpless.
Now Daran was pulling a sword out of it's scabbard, which had been attached to his waist. He held it over Yeshua, who didn't flinch. "Any last words, O king?"
Kaela covered her eyes, but she knew what had just happened by the way the crowd cheered. Daran had just stabbed Yeshua with the sword.
Behind her, Lindsey started sobbing. Daran's triumphant voice rang out above the crowd. "It is finished! The 'great and mighty king' didn't defeat me, after all! Ha, thinks he so powerful!"
The crowd cheered again, and Daran said more, but Kaela didn't pay attention. Ben had just tapped her on the shoulder.
"Kaela, come quick!" he hissed into her ear. "Some guards are after us! They must have noticed our different reactions!"
Kaela forgot Yeshua for a moment and glanced at the crowd. Several Ogre guards were making their way toward them, determidly pushing through the crowd.
"We might want to hurry!" Josh said nervously. His freckles were standing out more than ever, and he was glancing from time to time at the platform where Yeshua's body still was.
Tristan looked like he was in a trance, but he mechanically led the way through the crowd toward the exit. They pushed past the people, who didn't pay any attention to the children.
Ben was looking behind to see if Kaela and Lindsey were still with them when he bumped right into a solid looking man, who had been quietly watching the goings on. "Oh, I beg your--" Ben stopped. It was Hans!
Hans put his fingers to his lips. "Shhh. You must go away, quickly! I saw the Ogres, and all followers will be persecuted once the festivities are over."
Lindsey came up behind Ben, still in shock over what had just happen. "Hans--they killed Yeshua!"
Hans raised his eyebrow. "Lindsey, I am not so sure about that. Remember the prophesy?"
Just then, Tristan and Josh came back to look for the lagging others. "Hurry, guys!" begged Tristan. "The guards have started to cut us off!"
Hans waved them away. "I'll be alright. Now go!"
The children slipped out the exit and scattered. Lindsey ran through the streets of Mahal, wondering in the back of her mind what she was supposed to do now. Even though many people were in the temple celebrating the death of Yeshua, the streets were still crowded.
Lindsey glanced back and saw that two of the Ogres had followed her. They were shoving past the milling people, mindless of whether or not they knocked some merchant's produce to the ground. However, it would have been much wiser to look ahead.
She didn't realize she was in the middle of the busiest street of all until it was almost too late. A horse-drawn wagon was careening down the rough road, and the driver hadn't noticed her yet. To go back was to give herself up to the guards, so Lindsey did the only thing she could do in the circumstance: dart out into the middle of the road--right in front of the wagon.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
There. That's sort of long.
I just got back from piano lessons, and last night we had been visiting a farm, which had goats. I'm wearing the same jeans that I wore at the goat farm. And the same shoes. I wonder, did anyone notice?
Izori
Chapter 16
Lindsey blinked as she and the others slipped out the door leading into the great throne room of Daran for two reasons: one, because she had grown used to the dimness of the cell, and the throne room was much more brightly lit (it looked a lot like the Lincoln Memorial). The second reason was it was full of people. And no one had been expecting that.
Tristan gasped, and they all immediately flattened against the wall, trying to remain unseen. However, everyone seemed to be looking in one direction, the throne. Or rather, the platform that the throne was on.
There were a whole bunch of tall people in the crowd, making it impossible for even Ben and Tristan to see what was going on. They pushed through the multitude, trying to get closer.
In all the bustle, Kaela and Lindsey got separated from the boys. To avoid being separated from each other too, Kaela grabbed her cousin's hand. When she looked up, she gasped.
Without realizing it, the girls had reached the very front of the crowd, and they had a very good view of what was taking place of the platform. Two figures were standing on it. One was Daran. Kaela knew right away, even though she had never seen him before. The evil radiating from him would have tipped her off even if she hadn't even heard of him before.
Her first instinct was to whisper for Lindsey to get behind her. Daran would easily recognize her cousin, but probably not Kaela. Where's Ben? Kaela thought, starting to get nervous. If Daran sees him...
Then something caused Kaela to look harder at the second figure. He was bound, and his white robe had been replaced with some rough, dirty, fabric. He was cuffed and bruised, and someone had mockingly placed a crown of viciously sharp thorns on his head. But she still could immediately tell who it was--Yeshua!
She started violently, and gasped. Yeshua looked her way and saw her. He seemed to smile at her, trying to tell her it would be alright. But it isn't alright! They're going to kill you, Yeshua!
Kaela reached for her sword, ready to pounce on Daran, but something stopped her. Instead, she just stood there, silently watching as Daran smirked at his adversary. Then the evil master spoke.
"Well, we finally meet at last, Yeshua, and it appears you were wrong. I guess you won't be giving me a 'mortal wound' after all. Now I have you tied up, and it's you, not me who must beg for mercy. Will you?"
Yeshua didn't say anything, he merely looked at Daran, who seemed to quail before his steady gaze.
"Don't you understand what I'm saying?" Daran yelled, in a fury over Yeshua's silence. "I'm going to kill you, not the other way around. I won, not you!"
Yeshua was silent.
Finally losing his temper, Daran screamed angrily and shoved Yeshua, hard. He stumbled and fell, lying on the platform. To Kaela's chagrin, the crowd burst into laughter. Behind her, Lindsey gasped. "Why are they doing this?" she whispered into Kaela's ear.
Kaela didn't answer, only felt helpless.
Now Daran was pulling a sword out of it's scabbard, which had been attached to his waist. He held it over Yeshua, who didn't flinch. "Any last words, O king?"
Kaela covered her eyes, but she knew what had just happened by the way the crowd cheered. Daran had just stabbed Yeshua with the sword.
Behind her, Lindsey started sobbing. Daran's triumphant voice rang out above the crowd. "It is finished! The 'great and mighty king' didn't defeat me, after all! Ha, thinks he so powerful!"
The crowd cheered again, and Daran said more, but Kaela didn't pay attention. Ben had just tapped her on the shoulder.
"Kaela, come quick!" he hissed into her ear. "Some guards are after us! They must have noticed our different reactions!"
Kaela forgot Yeshua for a moment and glanced at the crowd. Several Ogre guards were making their way toward them, determidly pushing through the crowd.
"We might want to hurry!" Josh said nervously. His freckles were standing out more than ever, and he was glancing from time to time at the platform where Yeshua's body still was.
Tristan looked like he was in a trance, but he mechanically led the way through the crowd toward the exit. They pushed past the people, who didn't pay any attention to the children.
Ben was looking behind to see if Kaela and Lindsey were still with them when he bumped right into a solid looking man, who had been quietly watching the goings on. "Oh, I beg your--" Ben stopped. It was Hans!
Hans put his fingers to his lips. "Shhh. You must go away, quickly! I saw the Ogres, and all followers will be persecuted once the festivities are over."
Lindsey came up behind Ben, still in shock over what had just happen. "Hans--they killed Yeshua!"
Hans raised his eyebrow. "Lindsey, I am not so sure about that. Remember the prophesy?"
Just then, Tristan and Josh came back to look for the lagging others. "Hurry, guys!" begged Tristan. "The guards have started to cut us off!"
Hans waved them away. "I'll be alright. Now go!"
The children slipped out the exit and scattered. Lindsey ran through the streets of Mahal, wondering in the back of her mind what she was supposed to do now. Even though many people were in the temple celebrating the death of Yeshua, the streets were still crowded.
Lindsey glanced back and saw that two of the Ogres had followed her. They were shoving past the milling people, mindless of whether or not they knocked some merchant's produce to the ground. However, it would have been much wiser to look ahead.
She didn't realize she was in the middle of the busiest street of all until it was almost too late. A horse-drawn wagon was careening down the rough road, and the driver hadn't noticed her yet. To go back was to give herself up to the guards, so Lindsey did the only thing she could do in the circumstance: dart out into the middle of the road--right in front of the wagon.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
There. That's sort of long.
I just got back from piano lessons, and last night we had been visiting a farm, which had goats. I'm wearing the same jeans that I wore at the goat farm. And the same shoes. I wonder, did anyone notice?
Izori
Monday, July 13, 2009
Lazy Summer Days
Summer is my favorite season of the year, as well as least favorite at the same time! The good things about it is that there's no schooling! Well, not that much. It depends on how much we did during the rest of the year. The nice thing about being home schooled is that you don't have to follow the public school schedule--breaks whenever we need them, starting/ending early or late--and it's so nice to be able to swim in the creek without Mom or Dad worrying that it'll be too cold and I'll catch hypothermia and die (I'm a cold-weather swimmer, I've been known to swim in icy-cold creeks in February). The bad things about summer is that...well, they're lazy! And hot, and there are so many snakes where we are. And not just the harmless little grass snakes. We're talking copperheads here! 
Not exactly like sharks, but it sure feels like you're on this teeny island with a shark swimming around you when you're alone in the woods, and you get ten feet near a clump of rocks and then you hear this hissing sound, and the bushes rustle...and then out pokes a gazillion copperheads! Aaaaaaaaahhh!! And for all of you who don't know, copperheads are highly poisonous.
And in summer you get really bored. Like now.
Izori
Not exactly like sharks, but it sure feels like you're on this teeny island with a shark swimming around you when you're alone in the woods, and you get ten feet near a clump of rocks and then you hear this hissing sound, and the bushes rustle...and then out pokes a gazillion copperheads! Aaaaaaaaahhh!! And for all of you who don't know, copperheads are highly poisonous. And in summer you get really bored. Like now.
Izori
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Chapter 15 (Kaela's Sword)
Chapter 15?!?! No way! My, the time flies.
Chapter 15
Ben massaged his temples wearily. It had been half an hour since he had found out that they were in Daran's temple in Mahal, when a sudden thought occurred to him. "Hey, where is Yeshua, anyway?"
Kaela gasped. "That's right! How could we have forgotten?"
Lindsey blinked sadly. "Don't get your hopes up, guys. Remember, Daran told he he was going to kill Yeshua. That's probably what's going on right now!"
Josh pounded his fists into the wall. "I wish we could do something about--wait. What was that?"
A muffled voice could be heard through the door. "Ben, Kaela, Josh? Are you there?"
Kaela called back. "Tristan? Is that you? Yes, we're all here. What happened?"
"One of those Ogres knocked me out in the garden. I guess they thought I was dead. Let this be a lesson to them; never mess with Tristan Oenhelm! Anyway, do you happen to know where the keys would be?"
It was Lindsey who answered. "No. Ben, can your sword cut through the bars? You said it could do a whole bunch of things, right?"
Ben sighed. "I'm sorry, but I dropped my sword in the garden. Even if it could, it wouldn't be any use to us now."
"Maybe Tristan can run back and get it?" Josh suggested hopefully. "Oh, never mind. We don't have that much time; they'll probably be killing Yeshua any minute! We barely have any time to save him."
Kaela hit herself on the forehead. "Oh, how brainless can I be!" she scolded herself. "I do have my sword with me! Here, let's try."
The girl pulled her magnificant, yet not full-length, sword out of it's plain scabbard. Everytime she did it, shivers ran down her back, knowing how powerful it actually was. It immediately began radiating a pure, clean light, illuminating the whole room.
As if in a trance, Kaela walked over toward the door, and then brought her sword down onto the bars with a clang. "It worked!" she cried triumphantly. "I felt something give!"
She pulled it away and gave yet another whack. Now there was a noticable dent it the bars.
Before she could strike it a third time, Kaela felt the blade vibrate. An instant later, it shot out the familiar, white ray of light that easily pierced through the bars. As a matter of fact, it completely incinerated the whole door, which had been made of strong, thick metal.
Tristan looked at the sword, eyes wide. "How in the world...?"
Kaela merely smiled and said, "Adonai."
Josh, Ben, Kaela, and Lindsey filed out of their former prison into the dark hallway. Not dark for long, however, as Kaela's blade glowed again, this time lighting up the hall.
Tristan looked skeptically at Lindsey, but said nothing to indicate he was surprised at her presence. Instead, he turned and broke into a run. "Now let's go rescue Adonai!"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
All my chapters are rather short. I would make them longer, but now I have limited computer time, so I just type as fast as I can and as short as I can, and then go ahead and post it.
Chapter 15
Ben massaged his temples wearily. It had been half an hour since he had found out that they were in Daran's temple in Mahal, when a sudden thought occurred to him. "Hey, where is Yeshua, anyway?"
Kaela gasped. "That's right! How could we have forgotten?"
Lindsey blinked sadly. "Don't get your hopes up, guys. Remember, Daran told he he was going to kill Yeshua. That's probably what's going on right now!"
Josh pounded his fists into the wall. "I wish we could do something about--wait. What was that?"
A muffled voice could be heard through the door. "Ben, Kaela, Josh? Are you there?"
Kaela called back. "Tristan? Is that you? Yes, we're all here. What happened?"
"One of those Ogres knocked me out in the garden. I guess they thought I was dead. Let this be a lesson to them; never mess with Tristan Oenhelm! Anyway, do you happen to know where the keys would be?"
It was Lindsey who answered. "No. Ben, can your sword cut through the bars? You said it could do a whole bunch of things, right?"
Ben sighed. "I'm sorry, but I dropped my sword in the garden. Even if it could, it wouldn't be any use to us now."
"Maybe Tristan can run back and get it?" Josh suggested hopefully. "Oh, never mind. We don't have that much time; they'll probably be killing Yeshua any minute! We barely have any time to save him."
Kaela hit herself on the forehead. "Oh, how brainless can I be!" she scolded herself. "I do have my sword with me! Here, let's try."
The girl pulled her magnificant, yet not full-length, sword out of it's plain scabbard. Everytime she did it, shivers ran down her back, knowing how powerful it actually was. It immediately began radiating a pure, clean light, illuminating the whole room.
As if in a trance, Kaela walked over toward the door, and then brought her sword down onto the bars with a clang. "It worked!" she cried triumphantly. "I felt something give!"
She pulled it away and gave yet another whack. Now there was a noticable dent it the bars.
Before she could strike it a third time, Kaela felt the blade vibrate. An instant later, it shot out the familiar, white ray of light that easily pierced through the bars. As a matter of fact, it completely incinerated the whole door, which had been made of strong, thick metal.
Tristan looked at the sword, eyes wide. "How in the world...?"
Kaela merely smiled and said, "Adonai."
Josh, Ben, Kaela, and Lindsey filed out of their former prison into the dark hallway. Not dark for long, however, as Kaela's blade glowed again, this time lighting up the hall.
Tristan looked skeptically at Lindsey, but said nothing to indicate he was surprised at her presence. Instead, he turned and broke into a run. "Now let's go rescue Adonai!"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
All my chapters are rather short. I would make them longer, but now I have limited computer time, so I just type as fast as I can and as short as I can, and then go ahead and post it.
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Advice Needed!
I could use a little advice here on romance. The book that I'm writing (Dun Zarum was the name of one third of the book; the actual name for it is 'Sarea'. For people who don't remember, the main character is a 14-15 year old girl named Ehra (pronounced Ee-ruh, although my dad, who's my 'editor in chief' pronounces it Ay-ruh). She's a serf in the land of Sarea, which is ruled by an evil tyrant named Baashil. King Baashil has 10 Sorcerors at his command, and his grip on Sarea is growing stronger by the hour. Ehra is given a chance to change this when a mysterious 'peddler' named Gnomi (pronounced No-mee) shows up at her village. He tells her that she is actually one of five Elashae, humans who can control a respective element as well as other magic. The Elashae were started long ago by one of the good kings of Sarea, and now it's up to the five current ones (no older than sixteen), and Gnomi, an Elashi of Earth of a former group, to stop the Sorcerers and get Baashil off the throne so they can put the rightful ruler back on.
I'm at the point now where the Elashae have defeated the Sorcerers and 'sunk' their castle. They are now traveling up to the land of Songaia to try and convince the Elves to ally with them to overcome Baashil, who's going to be even more powerful then the Sorcerers.
I'm hoping for Ehra (Elashi of Water) and Maki (Ma-key, the Elashi of Fire) to get married at the end of the book. And I don't want it to be no warning and then poof, they get married, but I don't want the romance leading up to Maki's proposal to be...well, something my dad would raise his eyebrows at when he reads it. I really like the romance in the Redwall Series, but I'm not sure exactly how to write it. My mom suggested that I could have it that Ehra and Maki are just friends, and then something happens that makes them realize their true feelings for each other. Does anyone have any other suggestions? If you do, please share them with me.
Thanks so much,
Izori
P.S. I almost forgot! The notebook which I wrote the first draft of Dun Zarum in and also part of Songaia has been filled up, so we went to Walmart and bought a new one! Yeah, I know, only an author would be excited at the prospect of a new notebook.
I'm at the point now where the Elashae have defeated the Sorcerers and 'sunk' their castle. They are now traveling up to the land of Songaia to try and convince the Elves to ally with them to overcome Baashil, who's going to be even more powerful then the Sorcerers.
I'm hoping for Ehra (Elashi of Water) and Maki (Ma-key, the Elashi of Fire) to get married at the end of the book. And I don't want it to be no warning and then poof, they get married, but I don't want the romance leading up to Maki's proposal to be...well, something my dad would raise his eyebrows at when he reads it. I really like the romance in the Redwall Series, but I'm not sure exactly how to write it. My mom suggested that I could have it that Ehra and Maki are just friends, and then something happens that makes them realize their true feelings for each other. Does anyone have any other suggestions? If you do, please share them with me.
Thanks so much,
Izori
P.S. I almost forgot! The notebook which I wrote the first draft of Dun Zarum in and also part of Songaia has been filled up, so we went to Walmart and bought a new one! Yeah, I know, only an author would be excited at the prospect of a new notebook.
Book Review: Princess Academy
People have suggested this book to me for a long time, and I just got it out of the library yesterday. 
(that is a wonderful emoticon!) Unfortunetely, Amazon changed something around and I can't figure out how to link to the book like the way I usually do (see my sidebar for book ads), so visit here if you would like to buy the book.
By the way, I'm sort of lazy today (like all Saturdays) so I'll just copy the review from the book.
"Princess Academy", by Shannon Hale
High on the slopes of Mount Eskel, Miri's family has lived forever, pounding a meager living from the stone of the mountain itself. Miri dreams of working alongside the others in the quarry, but she has never been allowed to work there--perhaps, she thinks, because she is so small.
Then word comes from the lowlands: the king's priests have divined that the prince's bride-to-be--the next princess--will come from Mount Eskel. The prince himself will travel to the village to choose his bride, but first all eligible girls must attend a makeshift academy to prepare for royal lowlander life.
At the school, Miri finds herself confronting both bitter competition among the girls and her own conflicted desires to be chosen. Yet when danger comes to the academy, it is Miri, named for a tiny mountain flower, who must find a way to save her classmates--and the chance for the future that each of them is eager to secure as her own.
I really liked the book. Shannon Hale is probably the author who's writing style is most like mine, and the romance in the book was also very good. Miri views all lowlanders as scum, but later she finds out that there are good lowlanders, too. The bad things: some kind of god is mentioned at the beginning, but he isn't mentioned very much except for there. Also, Miri and the other girls at the academy are very rebellious toward their teacher, Olana (they do, however have a reason. Olana is very cruel toward them, but I still mentioned it because I found that to be a problem)
Overall, it was a great book.
Izori
(that is a wonderful emoticon!) Unfortunetely, Amazon changed something around and I can't figure out how to link to the book like the way I usually do (see my sidebar for book ads), so visit here if you would like to buy the book.By the way, I'm sort of lazy today (like all Saturdays) so I'll just copy the review from the book.
"Princess Academy", by Shannon Hale
High on the slopes of Mount Eskel, Miri's family has lived forever, pounding a meager living from the stone of the mountain itself. Miri dreams of working alongside the others in the quarry, but she has never been allowed to work there--perhaps, she thinks, because she is so small.
Then word comes from the lowlands: the king's priests have divined that the prince's bride-to-be--the next princess--will come from Mount Eskel. The prince himself will travel to the village to choose his bride, but first all eligible girls must attend a makeshift academy to prepare for royal lowlander life.
At the school, Miri finds herself confronting both bitter competition among the girls and her own conflicted desires to be chosen. Yet when danger comes to the academy, it is Miri, named for a tiny mountain flower, who must find a way to save her classmates--and the chance for the future that each of them is eager to secure as her own.
I really liked the book. Shannon Hale is probably the author who's writing style is most like mine, and the romance in the book was also very good. Miri views all lowlanders as scum, but later she finds out that there are good lowlanders, too. The bad things: some kind of god is mentioned at the beginning, but he isn't mentioned very much except for there. Also, Miri and the other girls at the academy are very rebellious toward their teacher, Olana (they do, however have a reason. Olana is very cruel toward them, but I still mentioned it because I found that to be a problem)
Overall, it was a great book.
Izori
Results for Poll
The "Should I end the Elandai Series, and then write more series' based on Elandai" results have come in! Three people voted yes, and one voted no, so the yes-people have it!
What I think I'll be doing after 'The Return to Elandai' is writing one more book about Ben and Kaela's adventures in Elandai. Then I'll write a trilogy about there parents, Michael and Katherine (I thought I named them somewhere, but I guess not, because I can't find anything about their names. If I come across it later, I'll make an edit).
And I'm going to be checking e-mail a lot today. I had a dream last night that I got an e-mail from this publisher-dude who asked if he could publish all of the books I've written and am going to write, and then he offered, like, a million dollars! *dollar signs appear in my eyes* That was a very good dream
Izori
What I think I'll be doing after 'The Return to Elandai' is writing one more book about Ben and Kaela's adventures in Elandai. Then I'll write a trilogy about there parents, Michael and Katherine (I thought I named them somewhere, but I guess not, because I can't find anything about their names. If I come across it later, I'll make an edit).
And I'm going to be checking e-mail a lot today. I had a dream last night that I got an e-mail from this publisher-dude who asked if he could publish all of the books I've written and am going to write, and then he offered, like, a million dollars! *dollar signs appear in my eyes* That was a very good dream
Izori
Friday, July 10, 2009
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Writing Tip: Drafts
Who in the world thought of the word 'draft' (as in, "I wrote the first draft of my book")? It's one odd word.
Anyway, another tip for writing a book is doing drafts. I like to write my first drafts in a notebook, not on the computer. It's basically the 'bones' of the book, and you can make your first draft as messy as you want. Like mine--crossed out words, squished in sentences, abbreviated names, and scribbled notes. Then I type it all up on the computer and start adding the 'muscle'--incorporating the notes, rewriting sentences, and so on. Then I re-read the whole thing and edit it all.
Sometimes, like with the Elandai series, I don't do drafts. That's a little harder, because if you made your plot do one thing, and then later realize that you didn't want it to do that, you can't go back and fix it. That makes the Elandai series a little interesting, because even though sometimes I do think ahead, I have no clue where I'm going next (like now).
Izori
Anyway, another tip for writing a book is doing drafts. I like to write my first drafts in a notebook, not on the computer. It's basically the 'bones' of the book, and you can make your first draft as messy as you want. Like mine--crossed out words, squished in sentences, abbreviated names, and scribbled notes. Then I type it all up on the computer and start adding the 'muscle'--incorporating the notes, rewriting sentences, and so on. Then I re-read the whole thing and edit it all.
Sometimes, like with the Elandai series, I don't do drafts. That's a little harder, because if you made your plot do one thing, and then later realize that you didn't want it to do that, you can't go back and fix it. That makes the Elandai series a little interesting, because even though sometimes I do think ahead, I have no clue where I'm going next (like now).
Izori
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Chapter 14 (Tristan's Realization)
Tristan moaned and came awake, finding himself under a berry bush. One of the Ogres had hit him over the head--rather hard--and he had rolled under the bush when he fell to the ground.
The follower cautiously stood, rubbing the black and blue bump starting to appear on his forehead, and looked around. He was the only one in the garden. No Ogres, no Garian, no Yeshua. Ben, Josh, and Kaela were also gone, too.
"Hello?" Tristan called softly. "Ben? Kaela? Josh? Are you there?"
No answer.
Tristan grimaced. The Ogres must have taken them, he realized. But where would he put them?
He pondered this for a bit, and then finally decided that such important prisoners as Yeshua and his followers would probably be kept in Daran's main headquarters--the temple. Then he slipped out of the garden gate and headed for his destination.
--- --- ---
Tristan paused when he reached the temple. Several formidable Ogres were guarding the entrance. No way he could just waltz up and enter.
He picked up a decent-sized rock from the edge of the road and hurled it at a stack of spears on the other side of the guards. The spears fell with a loud clatter to the ground, and the Ogres turned toward their disturbed weapons.
That was all Tristan needed. He dashed across the open stretch of ground and disappeared into the entrance before the Ogres even noticed him.
Looking around, he could see that he was in the huge, dim throne room, where Daran usually was. Tristan was about to flee before the dark master could see him, but then he realized: Daran wasn't there.
That's odd. Where is he?
Tristan began looking for anything that might tell him where to find Yeshua and the other followers. Finally he found a thick, wood door that had runes carved on it. He, being a native Elandai, could easily see that they read, "Dungeon".
Well, that's where I have a suspicion I'll find them. He entered the door and began walking down a dark, long flight of stairs. There was no railing, and it was beginning to make Tristan a little queasy. Then he had a horrible thought.
Oh, how could you! he scolded himself as he picked up the pace as much as he dared down the stairs. It's in the Book of Prophesies! Why couldn't you see it!
Tristan began to run. It was prophesied that Yeshua would be Daran's undoing. And naturally, if Daran had Yeshua as his captive, he would see that he wouldn't be able to defeat him. And that also explains why Daran wasn't on his throne; he's overseeing the execution of Yeshua!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This chapter is a little short.
Izori
The follower cautiously stood, rubbing the black and blue bump starting to appear on his forehead, and looked around. He was the only one in the garden. No Ogres, no Garian, no Yeshua. Ben, Josh, and Kaela were also gone, too.
"Hello?" Tristan called softly. "Ben? Kaela? Josh? Are you there?"
No answer.
Tristan grimaced. The Ogres must have taken them, he realized. But where would he put them?
He pondered this for a bit, and then finally decided that such important prisoners as Yeshua and his followers would probably be kept in Daran's main headquarters--the temple. Then he slipped out of the garden gate and headed for his destination.
--- --- ---
Tristan paused when he reached the temple. Several formidable Ogres were guarding the entrance. No way he could just waltz up and enter.
He picked up a decent-sized rock from the edge of the road and hurled it at a stack of spears on the other side of the guards. The spears fell with a loud clatter to the ground, and the Ogres turned toward their disturbed weapons.
That was all Tristan needed. He dashed across the open stretch of ground and disappeared into the entrance before the Ogres even noticed him.
Looking around, he could see that he was in the huge, dim throne room, where Daran usually was. Tristan was about to flee before the dark master could see him, but then he realized: Daran wasn't there.
That's odd. Where is he?
Tristan began looking for anything that might tell him where to find Yeshua and the other followers. Finally he found a thick, wood door that had runes carved on it. He, being a native Elandai, could easily see that they read, "Dungeon".
Well, that's where I have a suspicion I'll find them. He entered the door and began walking down a dark, long flight of stairs. There was no railing, and it was beginning to make Tristan a little queasy. Then he had a horrible thought.
Oh, how could you! he scolded himself as he picked up the pace as much as he dared down the stairs. It's in the Book of Prophesies! Why couldn't you see it!
Tristan began to run. It was prophesied that Yeshua would be Daran's undoing. And naturally, if Daran had Yeshua as his captive, he would see that he wouldn't be able to defeat him. And that also explains why Daran wasn't on his throne; he's overseeing the execution of Yeshua!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This chapter is a little short.
Izori
Blog Design
Like my new blog design? It's supposed to be Medieval.
Izori
P.S. Never mind. I got tired of it and changed it.
Izori
P.S. Never mind. I got tired of it and changed it.
Monday, July 6, 2009
A Brilliant Idea
Ooooh, I had a really good idea! Well, hey, aren't all my ideas wonderful? Don't answer that.
I know that my poll on whether or not I should end my series with Ben and Kaela, and do more about other people's adventures in Elandai, and just have everything go on and on and on, isn't even closed...but I was thinking, maybe I should keep all the series' trilogies (like the Elandai Trilogy, the Adonai Trilogy) and then write a single book based on Revelation--the final battle of Elandai, and end it all, basically. It would be a little sad to see Elandai go, but I think I might start running out of ideas after book six, and then everything would basically be repeats, which doesn't make for good books.
I'm going to do a poll on this. If you want to express yourself more, please comment.
Izori
I know that my poll on whether or not I should end my series with Ben and Kaela, and do more about other people's adventures in Elandai, and just have everything go on and on and on, isn't even closed...but I was thinking, maybe I should keep all the series' trilogies (like the Elandai Trilogy, the Adonai Trilogy) and then write a single book based on Revelation--the final battle of Elandai, and end it all, basically. It would be a little sad to see Elandai go, but I think I might start running out of ideas after book six, and then everything would basically be repeats, which doesn't make for good books.
I'm going to do a poll on this. If you want to express yourself more, please comment.
Izori
Injuries
I'm extremely injury prone. Besides having my sweet, kind, caring, gentle brother 'break' my finger, I have also sprained my ankle, done something to my back, re-sprained my ankle, 'broke' my big toe (also partly courtesy of my brother) and bravely sacrificed my finger providing food for my starved family (translation: I burnt my finger taking muffins out of the oven). Poor me. And with all of this...I can type!
And I'm very bored.
Sooo...ah, yes. You may have noticed I have a Lord of the Rings character quiz on my sidebar. You also may have noticed that I have changed characters. When I first took the test, I was Arwen. Then I took it again (this time to put it on my blog) and I became Elrond. Not that he's bad or anything, I'd much prefer to be a girl character. So I re-tried and re-tried, and I was still Elrond. Finally I just did the quiz again without trying to be anybody...and I'm Arwen! Yay!
Izori
And I'm very bored.
Sooo...ah, yes. You may have noticed I have a Lord of the Rings character quiz on my sidebar. You also may have noticed that I have changed characters. When I first took the test, I was Arwen. Then I took it again (this time to put it on my blog) and I became Elrond. Not that he's bad or anything, I'd much prefer to be a girl character. So I re-tried and re-tried, and I was still Elrond. Finally I just did the quiz again without trying to be anybody...and I'm Arwen! Yay!
Izori
Chapter 13 (The Betrayal)
Chapter 13
Tristan led the way through the twisted back-alleys of Mahal--the quickest shortcut for reaching the gardens. Behind him stumbled Josh, Ben, and Kaela, not yet acquainted well enough with the city, especially with it being almost completely dark.
They stopped when they could see the garden wall. Kaela scanned the scene, noting how peaceful it looked. The moon shone off the wall, and she could see some of the lush fruit trees inside. It's almost too peaceful for a betrayal. Maybe we were wrong.
Then she heard the unmistakable voice of Yeshua from inside the garden. "I know the reason why you brought me here, Garian. Do what you were going to do."
He knows? Why doesn't he do something?! Kaela screamed mentally. Daran's going to kill him!
Evidentially, Tristan was thinking the same thing. "Charge!" he yelled, and the four dashed into the garden through the gate.
It was too late. Garian gave a piercing whistle, and the next instant, Ogres and Vakir, winged bat-like creatures that had human faces, jumped or flew over the wall and landed inside the garden. Two immediately grabbed Yeshua by the arms. To Ben's surprise, his master didn't even struggle. I guess I'll just have to take care of those pesky Ogres for him.
He aimed his sword at one of the Ogres and waited for the beam of light to shoot from its tip and fry the disgusting thing's brains. But nothing happened.
Ben waved his sword in the air, and then re-aimed it. There was no familiar pure white light. What's going on? Ben thought frantically. Why won't it shoot?
Another Ogre snuck up behind him, and then pounced. Ben barely managed to hold on to his sword as he was knocked to the ground. "Yaaagh! Get off!"
The Ogre merely grunted and pinned Ben's arms to his side, forcing him to drop his sword. Even though Ben was tall and strong from his age, he was no match for an Ogre. It pulled him to his feet, and Ben saw that Kaela and Josh were in similar positions. There was no sign of Tristan, and he wondered if the follower had gotten killed.
The Ogres were talking ot each other in a language that sounded as close to "Goog gaa oogenbog" as Ben had ever heard. They seemed to be talking about their prisoners, because a few seconds later, the one who seemed to be the leader gave a command to the Ogre holding Ben. It grunted, and then everything went black.
--- --- ---
Ben woke up and found that everything was almost as dark as when he had been unconscious. HE was lying on his back in what appeared to be a dungeion--dark, cob-webby, cold, and dirty, with stone walls, just like in books--with the only illumination a single torch on the wall.
"Hi, Ben."
Ben sat up very quickly, and then regretted it. His head felt like it would burst any second. Groggily, he glanced around the dim room. "Who called me?"
"I did. Me, as in Lindsey."
Astonished, he turned around to behold his cousin sitting with her back to the wall. "What are you doing here?" he asked.
So Lindsey told how she had wound up in the same prison. Then she said, looking rather gloomy, "Kaela told me what's going on. You know, Yeshua being captured by Daran's Ogres and all that."
Ben unenergetically drooped his head to one side. Then he realized what Lindsey had said. "Wait. You care?"
"Ben!" scolded Kaela, sitting beside Lindsey. Josh was next to her, with his head in his hands. He too had a splitting headache.
"Er...that's not what I meant. I meant...are you a follower now?"
Lindsey's face lit up. "Yep. I thought you guys were crazy until I became a follower, too. I guess seeing how bad Daran really is made me see how awesome Yeshua is."
"And speaking of Daran," added Josh, finally looking up. "Gues where we are?"
"Where?"
"In the dungeons of Daran's temple in Mahal."
"What?
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tristan led the way through the twisted back-alleys of Mahal--the quickest shortcut for reaching the gardens. Behind him stumbled Josh, Ben, and Kaela, not yet acquainted well enough with the city, especially with it being almost completely dark.
They stopped when they could see the garden wall. Kaela scanned the scene, noting how peaceful it looked. The moon shone off the wall, and she could see some of the lush fruit trees inside. It's almost too peaceful for a betrayal. Maybe we were wrong.
Then she heard the unmistakable voice of Yeshua from inside the garden. "I know the reason why you brought me here, Garian. Do what you were going to do."
He knows? Why doesn't he do something?! Kaela screamed mentally. Daran's going to kill him!
Evidentially, Tristan was thinking the same thing. "Charge!" he yelled, and the four dashed into the garden through the gate.
It was too late. Garian gave a piercing whistle, and the next instant, Ogres and Vakir, winged bat-like creatures that had human faces, jumped or flew over the wall and landed inside the garden. Two immediately grabbed Yeshua by the arms. To Ben's surprise, his master didn't even struggle. I guess I'll just have to take care of those pesky Ogres for him.
He aimed his sword at one of the Ogres and waited for the beam of light to shoot from its tip and fry the disgusting thing's brains. But nothing happened.
Ben waved his sword in the air, and then re-aimed it. There was no familiar pure white light. What's going on? Ben thought frantically. Why won't it shoot?
Another Ogre snuck up behind him, and then pounced. Ben barely managed to hold on to his sword as he was knocked to the ground. "Yaaagh! Get off!"
The Ogre merely grunted and pinned Ben's arms to his side, forcing him to drop his sword. Even though Ben was tall and strong from his age, he was no match for an Ogre. It pulled him to his feet, and Ben saw that Kaela and Josh were in similar positions. There was no sign of Tristan, and he wondered if the follower had gotten killed.
The Ogres were talking ot each other in a language that sounded as close to "Goog gaa oogenbog" as Ben had ever heard. They seemed to be talking about their prisoners, because a few seconds later, the one who seemed to be the leader gave a command to the Ogre holding Ben. It grunted, and then everything went black.
--- --- ---
Ben woke up and found that everything was almost as dark as when he had been unconscious. HE was lying on his back in what appeared to be a dungeion--dark, cob-webby, cold, and dirty, with stone walls, just like in books--with the only illumination a single torch on the wall.
"Hi, Ben."
Ben sat up very quickly, and then regretted it. His head felt like it would burst any second. Groggily, he glanced around the dim room. "Who called me?"
"I did. Me, as in Lindsey."
Astonished, he turned around to behold his cousin sitting with her back to the wall. "What are you doing here?" he asked.
So Lindsey told how she had wound up in the same prison. Then she said, looking rather gloomy, "Kaela told me what's going on. You know, Yeshua being captured by Daran's Ogres and all that."
Ben unenergetically drooped his head to one side. Then he realized what Lindsey had said. "Wait. You care?"
"Ben!" scolded Kaela, sitting beside Lindsey. Josh was next to her, with his head in his hands. He too had a splitting headache.
"Er...that's not what I meant. I meant...are you a follower now?"
Lindsey's face lit up. "Yep. I thought you guys were crazy until I became a follower, too. I guess seeing how bad Daran really is made me see how awesome Yeshua is."
"And speaking of Daran," added Josh, finally looking up. "Gues where we are?"
"Where?"
"In the dungeons of Daran's temple in Mahal."
"What?
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sunday, July 5, 2009
It seems like every time I make up a new character for a book, I like them to look somewhat like me. I have no clue why that is, but I do that. Almost all my main characters are tall (even though I've stopped growing and all of my friends are starting to surpass me in height, so I'm starting to feel really short). Ben and Kaela have blond hair, which I don't, but a lot of my characters have brown/black hair.
Ummm...I'm already getting off subject here. The real reason I posted was to talk about the Narnia movies. My brother and I just watched a little bit of "The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe". I might review it, but not now, as we only watched the battle scene (my favorite) and the special features. And we watched "Prince Caspian" recently, too.
I really liked "The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe". At first, I didn't like it when Susan yells at Peter at the beginning, but now I realize that it's just showing how the Pevensie children mature during their adventure. The Centuars were very good.
"Prince Caspian" was way different from the actual book. It was entertaining, but I like the book better. Edmund was very good in the movie, though.
Anyway, those are my brief thoughts on the Narnia movies.
Izori
Ummm...I'm already getting off subject here. The real reason I posted was to talk about the Narnia movies. My brother and I just watched a little bit of "The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe". I might review it, but not now, as we only watched the battle scene (my favorite) and the special features. And we watched "Prince Caspian" recently, too.
I really liked "The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe". At first, I didn't like it when Susan yells at Peter at the beginning, but now I realize that it's just showing how the Pevensie children mature during their adventure. The Centuars were very good.
"Prince Caspian" was way different from the actual book. It was entertaining, but I like the book better. Edmund was very good in the movie, though.
Anyway, those are my brief thoughts on the Narnia movies.
Izori
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Favorite Characters
Okay, today isn't as action packed as I pictured it to be. And my brother 'broke' my finger 
, so it sort of hurts to type (that emoticon is one of my favorite!), but I'm really bored, so I guess I'll just tell you my favorite book characters. That I can think of.
Legolas (Lord of the Rings)
Saphira (Inheritance)
Susan (Narnia)
Edmund (Narnia)
Lucy (Narnia)
Peter (Narnia)
Eragon (Inheritance)
Obi Wan Kenobi, if I spelled that right (Star Wars)
Angela (Inheritance)
Arya (In all the Inheritance books except for 'Eldest')
Mhegan (The Journal*)
Ein (The Journal*)
Ehra (Sarea*)
Matthias (Redwall)
Mattimeo (Redwall)
Samkin (Redwall)
Maki (Sarea*)
Gimli (Lord of the Rings)
Leela (Sarea*)
Aera (Sarea*)
Karo (Sarea*)
Kaela (Elandai*)
Ben (Elandai*)
Josh (Elandai*)
Lindsey (Elandai*)
Meggie (Inkheart)
Dustfingers (Inkheart)
There are many, many others, by the way. (* means I wrote the book)
Izori
, so it sort of hurts to type (that emoticon is one of my favorite!), but I'm really bored, so I guess I'll just tell you my favorite book characters. That I can think of.Legolas (Lord of the Rings)
Saphira (Inheritance)
Susan (Narnia)
Edmund (Narnia)
Lucy (Narnia)
Peter (Narnia)
Eragon (Inheritance)
Obi Wan Kenobi, if I spelled that right (Star Wars)
Angela (Inheritance)
Arya (In all the Inheritance books except for 'Eldest')
Mhegan (The Journal*)
Ein (The Journal*)
Ehra (Sarea*)
Matthias (Redwall)
Mattimeo (Redwall)
Samkin (Redwall)
Maki (Sarea*)
Gimli (Lord of the Rings)
Leela (Sarea*)
Aera (Sarea*)
Karo (Sarea*)
Kaela (Elandai*)
Ben (Elandai*)
Josh (Elandai*)
Lindsey (Elandai*)
Meggie (Inkheart)
Dustfingers (Inkheart)
There are many, many others, by the way. (* means I wrote the book)
Izori
Friday, July 3, 2009
Happy 4th!
I probably won't be able to post tomorrow, but if I'm inspired and I have time, I'll try to squeeze one in. So, Happy 4th of July! (Rather, 4th of July Eve!)
Izori
Izori
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Chapter 12 (Garian)
Now I'm bursting with ideas! Good ones, I hope!
Chapter 12
Ben stared out the window of the house the followers and Yeshua were staying at. It was evening, and the crowd outside was thinning. The sun had just sank beneath the hills to the west, and the brilliant red and gold had given way to purple and blue. What he was looking at however, was not the beautiful scenery, but the four Ogre soldiers nearby--too close for comfort.
Is it possible that Daran may have got wind of Yeshua being in Mahal, and sent those soldiers to capture him? Tristan, Hans, and once Klii, told me all about how my Master is going to eventually kill Daran. One of the Ogres shifted and turned it's gaze to Ben in the window. It smirked, and the boy rolled his eyes, moving further into the room. Ogres brought unpleasant memories of sword-fights below grounds. Ben was a rather tranquil person, and he got an odd feeling thinking about all his narrow escapes.
He turned as Josh entered the room. "Hi, Ben," his cousin said, with a concerned look on his face. "Notice the Ogres?"
Ben nodded grimly. "Yep. I hope they won't be a problem."
Josh peered out the window at their 'guards'. "It's so odd."
"What is?"
"A week or so ago, I never would have imagined I'd be transported into another world, hear of livercream pie--" Josh grimaced at the thought. "--and meet Ogres!"
"Well, at least you have me and Kaela to explain everything to you. Our first time I thought I had gone crazy or something. And Klii, Learka, and Yev couldn't really explain it from our viewpoint well. I was confused for a long time."
Without warning, the door burst open, and Kaela and Tristan charged into the room. "Ben! Josh!" cried Kaela. "Come quick!"
"What? What's the matter?" Josh and Ben exclaimed at the same time, confused by the way Kaela was hopping up in down.
Kaela and Tristan took turns explaining. "A little while ago, I saw Garian talking with some of Daran's soldiers in the streets," began the boy follower. He looked pale, despite his tanned skin. "I could hear things like 'Yeshua...kill...betray...garden'."
"And a few minutes ago," Kaela took up the story. "Garian wanted to show Yeshua some things in the Isancaa Gardens, which is near the center of Mahal! They just left!"
Josh gasped. "Are you saying that Garian's going to betray Yeshua?"
Kaela grabbed her sword from where it was leaning on the wall. "Yes! Come on; we've got to stop him!"
Ben picked up his sword, too, while Tristan and Josh selected their dirks. Then the four of them rushed outside into the deepening night.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Despite it's not being very long, it took me a while to write this chapter. Probably because I kept on being interrupted by certain family members who wanted the computer.
Izori
Chapter 12
Ben stared out the window of the house the followers and Yeshua were staying at. It was evening, and the crowd outside was thinning. The sun had just sank beneath the hills to the west, and the brilliant red and gold had given way to purple and blue. What he was looking at however, was not the beautiful scenery, but the four Ogre soldiers nearby--too close for comfort.
Is it possible that Daran may have got wind of Yeshua being in Mahal, and sent those soldiers to capture him? Tristan, Hans, and once Klii, told me all about how my Master is going to eventually kill Daran. One of the Ogres shifted and turned it's gaze to Ben in the window. It smirked, and the boy rolled his eyes, moving further into the room. Ogres brought unpleasant memories of sword-fights below grounds. Ben was a rather tranquil person, and he got an odd feeling thinking about all his narrow escapes.
He turned as Josh entered the room. "Hi, Ben," his cousin said, with a concerned look on his face. "Notice the Ogres?"
Ben nodded grimly. "Yep. I hope they won't be a problem."
Josh peered out the window at their 'guards'. "It's so odd."
"What is?"
"A week or so ago, I never would have imagined I'd be transported into another world, hear of livercream pie--" Josh grimaced at the thought. "--and meet Ogres!"
"Well, at least you have me and Kaela to explain everything to you. Our first time I thought I had gone crazy or something. And Klii, Learka, and Yev couldn't really explain it from our viewpoint well. I was confused for a long time."
Without warning, the door burst open, and Kaela and Tristan charged into the room. "Ben! Josh!" cried Kaela. "Come quick!"
"What? What's the matter?" Josh and Ben exclaimed at the same time, confused by the way Kaela was hopping up in down.
Kaela and Tristan took turns explaining. "A little while ago, I saw Garian talking with some of Daran's soldiers in the streets," began the boy follower. He looked pale, despite his tanned skin. "I could hear things like 'Yeshua...kill...betray...garden'."
"And a few minutes ago," Kaela took up the story. "Garian wanted to show Yeshua some things in the Isancaa Gardens, which is near the center of Mahal! They just left!"
Josh gasped. "Are you saying that Garian's going to betray Yeshua?"
Kaela grabbed her sword from where it was leaning on the wall. "Yes! Come on; we've got to stop him!"
Ben picked up his sword, too, while Tristan and Josh selected their dirks. Then the four of them rushed outside into the deepening night.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Despite it's not being very long, it took me a while to write this chapter. Probably because I kept on being interrupted by certain family members who wanted the computer.
Izori
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Writing Tips II
Tip 4: Plot. A huge part of what makes a book a success is an exciting plot. Usually I don't have much trouble thinking up plot ideas, but sometimes I do. What helps me is to think what I would like in a book. Would I want to read a book with a series of riddles leading to a buried treasure in it, maybe? What would I find exciting? An overthrow of the evil king of the country? How about what would I not find exciting?
Tip 5: Writing a book when you've only thought up the middle. This is a huge problem for me. When I think up books, I tend to think up the middle of them--where the most excitement usually is. So then I know what's going to happen there, but I have the problem of having to think up a beginning. And writing a beginning takes a while; by then I've either forgotten my great idea, I've lost interest, or I've started another book. One of my friends was the first one to bring this concept to me: go ahead and start writing the part you've thought up, and when you're done with that then write the beginning. I haven't actually tried it yet, but it sounds good.
Tip 6: Finishing a book. Another problem for me is that after the novelty of starting a book that's going to be so awesome, and will win awards, and be published and loved world-wide (or so I think :D) wears off, I sort of get sidetracked with a brilliant idea, like I mentioned in Tip 5. I keep my first book in the back of my mind while I'm starting another one. What I do here is make myself sit down. Don't force the ideas to come because then they won't be that great, but I find if I read over my previous work, I'll start to get ideas.
Tip 7: Beginning a book. This is a really hard one. For me, I know the plot, main characters, and what the main characters look like already, but to write about them...well, I have to start the book! Sometimes I like to plunge right into an exciting chase to get the reader hooked, and then I start explaining stuff. Or I could start with describing the scenery and the situation. I use both.
Izori
Tip 5: Writing a book when you've only thought up the middle. This is a huge problem for me. When I think up books, I tend to think up the middle of them--where the most excitement usually is. So then I know what's going to happen there, but I have the problem of having to think up a beginning. And writing a beginning takes a while; by then I've either forgotten my great idea, I've lost interest, or I've started another book. One of my friends was the first one to bring this concept to me: go ahead and start writing the part you've thought up, and when you're done with that then write the beginning. I haven't actually tried it yet, but it sounds good.
Tip 6: Finishing a book. Another problem for me is that after the novelty of starting a book that's going to be so awesome, and will win awards, and be published and loved world-wide (or so I think :D) wears off, I sort of get sidetracked with a brilliant idea, like I mentioned in Tip 5. I keep my first book in the back of my mind while I'm starting another one. What I do here is make myself sit down. Don't force the ideas to come because then they won't be that great, but I find if I read over my previous work, I'll start to get ideas.
Tip 7: Beginning a book. This is a really hard one. For me, I know the plot, main characters, and what the main characters look like already, but to write about them...well, I have to start the book! Sometimes I like to plunge right into an exciting chase to get the reader hooked, and then I start explaining stuff. Or I could start with describing the scenery and the situation. I use both.
Izori
Writing Tips I
I could have used a lot of these when I was a little bit younger. I'm pretty sure you can figure out how to fix a lot in a book if you read a lot of very well-written books.
In no particular order:
Tip 1: Making strong characters. To find out if your book has strong characters or not, have a sibling, friend, or parent read your book, and then ask them what their reaction would be if you made the main character get killed in a sword fight or come to some demise or other. Tell them to be honest. If they tell you that they probably cry or be really mad at the person who killed them, then your characters are very strong and life-like. If they tell you that they wouldn't care much, then you've got a problem (either the reader is heartless, or you have weak and flat characters. But usually it's the second). I still have this problem, and I don't have a particularly good way of fixing it, but the thing I usually try to do is put yourself in your character's shoes. Try to imagine what you would be like in a story, or if the character isn't that like you, imagine a sibling or friend. Or maybe try to descibe their life to the reader, like put some of their background in. Try to really write a good picture of the character.
Tip 2: Lengthening a book. I have that trouble a lot. What I've found best in most cases is put two sides of the story in. I only wrote one of my stories from the perspective of my main character, a teenage girl named Ehra, and the book turned out to be 70 pages. Then I added in the perspectives of some bad guys, and it turned out to be 130 pages! That's a 40 page difference! Also, try to read really long, well written books, like the Inheritance Series by Christopher Paolini. He has a lot of description in his books, and his characters have long lines a lot of the time. Of course, you don't have to go overboard with the long lines, but take these examples. Say this is a part in your book:
"Were you able to solve the riddle?"
"No."
You can lengthen it like this:
"Were you able to solve the riddle?"
"No. We tried really hard, and we thought we came close to cracking the code at least once, but it turned out to be wrong. We even tried using the Caesar Cypher, but we can't find anything. I don't think we'll ever be able to solve it!"
That sounds less abrubt, and you lengthened the line considerably. One of those might not make much of a difference, but if you add in long lines and description several times where it's needed, your book could get longer by a few pages.
Tip 3: Thinking up titles for books and chapters. Some people don't have titles for chapters, but everyone (I'm pretty sure) has a book title :D! This, especially the book titles, can get sort of tricky. I usually have thought up a name for my book by the time I'm done with it, but it's hard sometimes. What I do is I name it after my main character, or where the climax of the book takes place. Brian Jacques, for example, names his books "Martin the Warrior", or "Salamandastron", or "Redwall". Christopher Paolini names his "Eragon" or "Brisinger". Chapters are a bit easier; you can just name them after what takes place during it. Like my most recent chapter of "The Return to Elandai", which is named Captured.
That's all for now. There might be more; that's why this post is named "Writing Tips I"
Izori
In no particular order:
Tip 1: Making strong characters. To find out if your book has strong characters or not, have a sibling, friend, or parent read your book, and then ask them what their reaction would be if you made the main character get killed in a sword fight or come to some demise or other. Tell them to be honest. If they tell you that they probably cry or be really mad at the person who killed them, then your characters are very strong and life-like. If they tell you that they wouldn't care much, then you've got a problem (either the reader is heartless, or you have weak and flat characters. But usually it's the second). I still have this problem, and I don't have a particularly good way of fixing it, but the thing I usually try to do is put yourself in your character's shoes. Try to imagine what you would be like in a story, or if the character isn't that like you, imagine a sibling or friend. Or maybe try to descibe their life to the reader, like put some of their background in. Try to really write a good picture of the character.
Tip 2: Lengthening a book. I have that trouble a lot. What I've found best in most cases is put two sides of the story in. I only wrote one of my stories from the perspective of my main character, a teenage girl named Ehra, and the book turned out to be 70 pages. Then I added in the perspectives of some bad guys, and it turned out to be 130 pages! That's a 40 page difference! Also, try to read really long, well written books, like the Inheritance Series by Christopher Paolini. He has a lot of description in his books, and his characters have long lines a lot of the time. Of course, you don't have to go overboard with the long lines, but take these examples. Say this is a part in your book:
"Were you able to solve the riddle?"
"No."
You can lengthen it like this:
"Were you able to solve the riddle?"
"No. We tried really hard, and we thought we came close to cracking the code at least once, but it turned out to be wrong. We even tried using the Caesar Cypher, but we can't find anything. I don't think we'll ever be able to solve it!"
That sounds less abrubt, and you lengthened the line considerably. One of those might not make much of a difference, but if you add in long lines and description several times where it's needed, your book could get longer by a few pages.
Tip 3: Thinking up titles for books and chapters. Some people don't have titles for chapters, but everyone (I'm pretty sure) has a book title :D! This, especially the book titles, can get sort of tricky. I usually have thought up a name for my book by the time I'm done with it, but it's hard sometimes. What I do is I name it after my main character, or where the climax of the book takes place. Brian Jacques, for example, names his books "Martin the Warrior", or "Salamandastron", or "Redwall". Christopher Paolini names his "Eragon" or "Brisinger". Chapters are a bit easier; you can just name them after what takes place during it. Like my most recent chapter of "The Return to Elandai", which is named Captured.
That's all for now. There might be more; that's why this post is named "Writing Tips I"
Izori
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