The Blur That Is My Life

I have a big problem. Procrastination. Laziness. They're the same thing, basically. A couple weeks ago, I was getting so frustrated with myself. I'd tell myself I'd do something later, that it wasn't urgent, that I could just push it off, and then the next thing I know everything is jumbled together and needs to be done now. I gave an extemporaneous speech yesterday. I had about a month to prepare it, and instead I spent one and a half weeks on it. I was happy with my speech, but I think it could have been even better if I had spent more time on it (of course, I did pick a tough current event--the stuff going on in Egypt). What was worse, I was pushing off other things besides speech. And I wasn't doing so well on those.

Then just recently, I decided that I really hated that rushed feeling and I was going to do something about it. Instead of wasting my time fiddling around on the computer, I'd get my schoolwork done first. God has placed schoolwork in my life as my main responsibility, and that means if I don't get it done I'm failing Him. So I actually put effort into my schoolwork.

You see, I'm not very smart. My mental capacity is slower than many of my friends. I take a while to 'get' things, and I struggle with comprehending things. I think I've always had this trouble, but I'm really noticing it this year. I look at many of my friends, who are doing honors classes/skipping grades/generally intelligent, and I get so discouraged.

I've just accepted the fact that I'm slow on the uptake. When I'm reading a case for government, I scan over a confusing paragraph and just say, "Oh, I don't get it just because that's how I'm made. What's the use." And then I don't give it any more effort.

Lately I've been trying to change that.

And I'm thrilled! It worked! I am actually 'getting' a lot of stuff that I never thought I'd get: algebra, government, politics...

Plus, I've actually had time to do things like blog! It's incredible.

Of course, you might not be seeing that much of me for a while. Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday are packed. On Wednesday, I'm making pot roast for dinner and I'm getting my hair cut. (yes, that takes a lot of time). On Thursday, I have piano, voice, biology, more biology, piano again, more piano, and more piano! All right after the other. And then on Friday, I'm going to watch three rounds of debate in a tournament! I'm really excited.

Yeah. Everyone else is watching American Idol and sports, and I'm watching a debate.

=)

Random Thought: Stars are like shards of broken glass dropped into black water. I've read many similes and metaphors about stars in books, but I haven't ever seen the one I thought of last night. (please don't take it. I think it's an awesome simile, and I would really like to use it. If you take it, I will slowly strangle you. I'm one half joking)

Hugs and Blessings,

Izori