A Favor Y'all Can Do Me

I have something to ask of all you kind, lovely blogger people. Can you guys read (or re-read) my short story, and then comment and give me suggestions to anything I should correct? I'm going to be making my own writing portfolio, and I want to get this as perfect as something can be on this earth!

'If Tomorrow Never Came'

Aileen hated the sounds of laughter drifting up the stairwell. She hated the sound of Mother’s happy voice rising in exclamation, and she absolutely loathed the deep voice that answered. Worst of all was the girl’s voice. Aileen’s brown eyes narrowed.

Burying her head into her flattened pillow, she tried to stifle her sobs. Of course Mother had insisted on her joining them. Aileen had refused. She preferred not to be drawn into the circle of gaiety. It had been just a year since Daddy died, and Mother was already dating again. How could she? Didn’t she remember Daddy’s pain, the radiation and chemo? Didn’t Mother recall the countless hours they both had spent in the hospital as he grew worse? Aileen wished she could erase the memories of the doctor’s grim voice telling Mother and her the horrible news. And now, Mother had already invited a man and his daughter into Daddy’s place! Anger bubbled up.

Aileen didn’t know how long she lay there, hating the very existence of the two intruders in their living room. Maybe she even fell asleep. The soft knock on the door aroused her, and thinking it was Mother she called out, “Come in!”

Shocked, she sat bolt upright. The girl! The daughter of Mother’s date was standing in the doorway, smiling shyly. Aileen stared so hard that bolts of hate must have come out of her eyes.

“Hello,” the girl said, in a low, husky, surprisingly sweet voice. Sweet as sugar, Aileen thought with venom. “I’m Pepper. Your mother sent me up here…”

“Get out of my room.”

Pepper started at the pure fury on Aileen’s face. For a moment, she stood there.

"Get out of my room," Aileen repeated.

She rose to her feet silently. Just as quietly and even more quickly, Pepper closed the door.

___ ___ ___

Once again, laughter rang from the family room. Bitterly, Aileen perched at the top of the stairs, still dressed in her light blue gown. Her stomach churned, and she desperately wanted to cry. Brushing blond hair out of her eyes, she wished all of this was a dream.

She couldn’t forget the look in Mother’s eyes when she said ‘I do’ just this afternoon. The look that was reserved only for Daddy had been directed at Bill, the same boyfriend who had been the intruder months ago. Now Mother wasn’t Serena Flamour. She was Serena Elliot.

Aileen wanted to scream. For a moment, she smiled, imagining the reactions from downstairs if she did. She was no Elliot! Bill would never be her daddy, and Pepper would never be her sister. Even if Bill adopted her, like Mother wanted him to, Aileen would never call him her father.

All these months, she had tried to fight so hard. Yes, and it hadn’t worked. Mother had married Bill anyway. But that wouldn’t change the fact that Aileen hated Bill and Pepper. Hated. In the extreme.

So this was what hating felt like. It didn’t burn, it just gnawed. It felt cold, knowing that if she had a gun and if Pepper or Bill were alone with her…

Someone laid a hand on Aileen’s shoulder. Gasping, she looked up and almost fell down the stairs. Pepper stood over here, gently smiling. “Hey, Aileen. We were all wondering if you would play the piano for—”

Wordlessly, Aileen shoved past the taller girl and stalked down the hall. The door slammed behind her.

Pepper’s shoulders sagged in defeat. I try to be nice. It’s not working. Maybe I need a different approach…

___ ___ ___

Over the months that followed, Pepper and Bill slowly became a part of Aileen’s life. Whenever she saw them, Aileen steered clear. And although Bill tried to be friendly (‘trying to gain my trust so he can shatter me’, thought Aileen) Pepper was just as cold as she.

One night, Mother and Bill were out for dinner, and it was just the two of them at home. Silently, Pepper and Aileen nibbled on pizza, avoiding each other’s glances. Without warning, Pepper suddenly put her piece down with a thunk.

“Aileen, look at me,” she said. Aileen’s brown eyes rose to Pepper’s gray ones with puzzled resentment.

Taking a deep breath, Pepper realized that it was time she played out all the cards. “Look. I want to be friends with you. Seriously, I do. I know how you feel about this whole thing; remember, my mom died just like your father did. What I don’t get is why you keep giving Dad and I the cold shoulder. Can you explain why? Can’t we forget it all and be friends?”

Aileen stared down at her pizza, feeling the burning in her eyes. She wasn’t touched at all—she was so furious that she felt cold. Once again, that hate welled up.

“No,” she said, slowly and clearly. It almost felt as if she wasn’t the one speaking. “You’ve made my Mother forget all about my Daddy.”

Pepper sighed and leaned on her elbow. “No, I haven’t. Serena was just talking to me the other day about your dad. He sounds like a really awesome guy! Please don’t feel that way about me, Aileen! I hate this stand-off feeling!”

“And I hate you.”

And that was it. Pepper, dry-eyed, slowly got up from the kitchen table and went into the family room. Aileen finished her pizza, wondering why she felt even worse then she had before.

Just what exactly had Mother been telling Pepper?

___ ___ ___

“Aileen, come down here!” came Mother’s voice.

Aileen slowly crept down the stairs. It was ten o’clock at night, and Mother and Bill had just returned. Unhappily, she wondered if this was about Pepper and her.

To her surprise, Pepper and Bill were sitting in the family room, evidentially waiting for her. Aileen whirled and would have marched back upstairs if Mother hadn’t laid a hand on her arm. “Come and sit with us, dear.”

Apprehensively, Aileen picked the seat farthest away from Bill and Pepper and waited.

“Bill and I have caught wind of what’s been going on here,” Mother said calmly, perched beside her husband. She was looking at both of the girls, but Aileen realized that she was being directly addressed.

“We don’t want this to go on any longer. That’s why next week, Bill and Pepper will go out for dinner and father-daughter quality time. The night after that, Aileen and I will go. Is that alright with you too?”

“Sure!” Pepper looked eager to please.

Aileen nodded less willingly. Maybe if she could get alone with Mother, she could explain how she felt about this whole thing. Maybe she'd see if Mother really had forgotten Daddy. She knew one thing for sure, though. This 'parent-daughter' thing wasn't going to help things at all.

She would be very surprised when it helped in a way that no one expected.

___ ___ ___

It was a week later. A rap on the door made Aileen look up from her book. From the knock, she knew it to be ever-persistent Pepper. Stubbornly, she remained silent.

“Aileen?” Pepper peeked her head in anyway. “Dad and I are going out now. I…uh…just figured I’d say goodbye.”

Wow, Aileen thought. Pepper actually looked pretty. Her tall, athletic built was complimented with a slightly-flowing, olive green dress, and her black hair was down. With a jealous twinge, she thought of her own ordinary blond hair and short stature.

“So…” Pepper looked as if she regretted talking to her. “Are you going to say goodbye?”

Without a word, Aileen turned her back. The door shut softly, and she never thought it could be the last time she saw Pepper alive again.

___ ___ ___

It was closing in on eleven o’clock at night when Aileen was awakened by urgent shaking. She opened her eyes to see Mother, dressed in a robe and very pale.

“Aileen, there’s been an accident. Get dressed, and we’ll go to the hospital. Pepper’s in critical condition.”

It seemed like a dream. Aileen dressed herself in a daze. She hardly noticed that her hands were shaking. Was this real? Maybe Pepper would die! Strangely, she began to cry scalding tears as the pulled her hair into a ponytail. She had thought that she hated Pepper. She really had. Now, when it was possible that Pepper would die…she didn’t quite as much. Instead, she began to feel very afraid.

She would always remember the agony that her soul went through in that car ride to the hospital. Mom was sobbing in the driver’s seat even as she drove, but Aileen cried silently. It was in the car that she did some serious searching of her heart.

The waiting stayed with her for the rest of her life, and so did the awful feeling that Pepper would die. And when she did, what would Pepper tell God about Aileen? Oh, but she was sure God already knew the poison that she contained. Mother had always told her that He knew people more than they knew themselves.

But what she remembered most about it was when Pepper had asked for Aileen. There, in the hospital room, they started their relationship over…as sisters. And they prayed together.

___ ___ ___

A warm light shone from the window of the small house, and girlish laughter floated into the summer air. Mother and Bill were out celebrating their first anniversary, and Pepper and Aileen were alone at home.

Pepper, just turned seventeen, was reclining on the sofa, still chuckling from what Aileen has just said. No sign remained of the accident, save a long rakish scar down her stomach. She wiped her eyes, helpless with merriment.

“I can’t believe you thought that, Aileen! Was I really that bad?”

Aileen giggled. “No, not really. You actually were really nice, compared to how snobbish I was.” She sobered. “Pepper? Have you ever thought what would have happened if you didn’t get better?”

Pepper fingered her water glass, her gray eyes searching its contents for an answer. “Well…yes, I have.”

“I really was an idiot,” sighed Aileen regretfully. “I have no clue what I would have done if you had died. It’s awful to think that we had the chance to reconcile several times, but we never did until one of us was in danger of dying.”

“I guess the car accident was providential, huh?”

“Yeah, I guess it was. I might have realized how stupid I was being anyway, but would I have actually done something about it? Probably not. I’d just keep on putting it off for tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow almost didn’t come,” Pepper whispered. “And don’t say that it was your fault, Aileen. I had my share of foolish pride.”

“Oh, but who else caused it but me?”

Pepper smiled. “Well, it’s over, anyhow. And I must say, you make a really good sister!”

Aileen blushed. “Hey, the fact that you are too makes it easier!” She added slyly, “And I can almost see now why Mother fell for your dad!”

The laughter rang out once again, and the fireflies danced outside again. All was well.

_________________________________________________________________________

Thanks! And be picky!

Izori