I Think the Turtle Recognizes Me *insert scary music*

Whenever I walk into the schoolroom, I'm in full view of my pet turtle's tank, which is sitting on the schoolroom table (this is also where our computer is). Oddly enough, whenever I walk in, my turtle, Tintin, suddenly starts madly swimming in place against the tank wall. He almost never does that to anyone else but me, and I must admit that it makes me feel special. I take him for 'walks' across the kitchen floor.

Yeah, I'm weird. A turtle's affections (either that, or Tintin's trying to strangle me) make me happy. =) And honestly, I don't think I'd be well off without a pet of some sort. I've had about five hermit crabs, two cats, chickens, five fish, one shrimp, and now a turtle. Never had a dog. =( I do have a pet dragon, though! Lol, in my own virtual world, that is. I still have my favorite cat's collar and picture on my nightstand. =( He died a loooong time ago. Like, when I was nine or ten years old.

I also don't know many people who had a pet chicken. Pequenita was a black bantam pullet, absolutely gorgeous. I entered her into the fair, where she got a first place and beat out Erestor's bantam. =) The judges said that she was a perfect show-bird (good breeding, dealt with the stress of the show-barn well), but since we live in the suburbs I couldn't keep her. We gave her to a friend's farm, and now I have no clue what happened to her. Erestor's cockerel was named Dixie, and he was a lot different than Pequenita. A very nice bird, but he kinda went...well, mad...from being in the fair.

Such is the life of a dork...unusual pets, unusual hobbies...completely awesome!

Oh! Completely unrelated, but guess what! Mom and I went to Borders, and I got....DA-DA-DA-DUH! ALL THREE LORD OF THE RINGS MOVIES! YAY! This is a big deal for us, because we rarely buy movies. Now I have them stashed up in my room, right next to the LotR soundtrack. =)

Izori

Tornadoes and Whirlwinds

No, we're not having tornadoes and whirlwinds at our house! =) It is raining though, which seems like a fitting ending to this day.

First of all: the whirlwind. Things have been so busy in life lately. I'm writing several stories, my script 'deadline' is August 20-something, I have summer schoolwork, the whole house is a wreck... It's not 'busy' as in a dancer performing an intricate, challenging dance, which you can look back on happy that you've done something beautiful. It's more of a 'busy' as in a watercolor painting that's been worked with too much. Everything's blurred and drab.

And, of course, the tornadoes. Remember that we got Fios, but our DVD player wasn't working? Well, now it's the entire TV that isn't working. Our washing machine was supposed to be fixed today, and well...it wasn't. One of the parts that was shipped to us was cracked. Another two weeks without a washing machine...=/

You know, usually I like wind. Somehow, it kind of reminds me of God. It's powerful, refreshing, relaxing, and just...awesome. This wind, however, is really messing with me.

Ah, well. Short, not so great post. Now I'm off to either write my script or make my bed so that I can go to bed in three hours.

Izori

Expressions

I love expressing myself. Sometimes though, I find that words aren't quite enough. When I'm angry or unhappy, excited or elated, I just can't translate my feelings. And how can I? Hearts are hard to sum up with words.

I think that's the reason why I love the things I do--piano, writing, cooking, art and photography, creating in general. All of those activities are ways of getting my heart and soul into something tangible. In an odd way, its my form of dealing with issues in my life.

I made breakfast this morning so that my mom could have a break. Peach & Apricot Smoothies and Tomato & Cheese Omelets, with a simple centerpiece of cone flowers. And that's the way I felt--homemade and simple, yet beautiful. I'm finally realizing that God made me the way he wanted me to be, and he thinks I'm gorgeous. Even if I think my forehead is too small and my nose is too dipped and all those other things.

The short story on the last post also is a reflection of my life. Lately, I've been realizing that I've not been treating Luthien at all nicely. It's not as bad as Aileen and Pepper, but it's still unacceptable. That was just a day ago. Now I'm already reforming my friendship with my lil' sister, and Aileen and Pepper's example is really helping me.

A lot of my main characters have at least one older sibling--another parallel. I've always wanted an older brother or sister, and I almost had one. My older sibling would have been sixteen around August. My MCs older brother or sister is, a lot of times, what I think my older sibling would have been like. Take Kate and Elizabeth, for example, in my NaNoWriMo novel. They have their conflicts, of course, and they're very different, but they get along. I think Kate would be the best older sister I could have.

After two years of sharing a room with Luthien, I'm going to have a room of my own! Er, actually, it's rather complicated. See, first Galdor has to be potty-trained (and we need a working washing machine for that...more on that point later), and then I'm going to move into his room. Luthien is going to move into Erestor's room, and Erestor and Galdor are going to move into Luthien and mine's room! Confused yet? I'm really excited, though. My room will be a 'Stone Brown' that looks really pretty (the color is currently 'Goldfish'). I'm looking at this new opportunity as a new way to express myself. I can't wait!

Ah, yes. And now about our washing machine. It's been broken for over a month. Nearly a month and a half, now. To cut a loooong story short, it's been a hassle to get it fixed. We've been doing laundry at the Laundry Mat and at generous neighbors' houses. It was cool at first because we didn't have to fold laundry every day, but now I really miss our washing machine! =/ It's making things really complicated, and it's delaying Galdor's potty-training. It's hopefully going to be fixed on Tuesday, but I have a sinking feeling... =( We've already gone back and forth with the company, and have had three appointments canceled. Yes, a wreck. No, not very fun. Everyone, run and give your washing machine a big hug!!

We've also just switched to Fios, and things are going awkwardly. The computer is working great, but we can't get the DVD player to work. Not very good, seeing as I need a DVD player to advance on my Latin studies. So right now I'm just reviewing flashcards and hoping that we get everything figured out before a real calamity happens.

One last thing...does anyone have a trick for headaches? I've had this annoying headache for a couple of months on and off now. The Vitamin D stuff has cleared a lot of it up, but it's still lurking beneath the surface. It's made me unjustifiably grumpy. I hope it's nothing serious...

Have a nice day, everyone! Boy, this post sure has rambled. =)

Izori

My Story!

I know that this post is, like, a minute after my last one, but here is my short story! It's actually a novel idea that I've had in my head for the past few weeks or so, and this contest was a wonderful opportunity to get it down on paper! I love the name Pepper, and coincidentally, so does Luthien! Neither of us had ever mentioned it to each other, but then today she named her baby doll Pepper and I named my character Pepper! So cool how sisters can read each others minds. BTW, the main focus of my story is on bitterness.

'If Tomorrow Never Came'

Aileen hated the sounds of laughter drifting up the stairwell. She hated the sound of Mother’s happy voice rising in exclamation, and she absolutely loathed the deep voice that answered. Worst of all was the girl’s voice. Aileen’s brown eyes narrowed.

Burying her head into her flattened pillow, she tried to stifle her sobs. Of course Mother had insisted on her joining them. Aileen had refused. She preferred not to be drawn into the circle of gaiety. It had been just a year since Daddy died, and Mother was already dating again. How could she? Didn’t she remember Daddy’s pain, the radiation and chemo? Didn’t Mother recall the countless hours they both had spent in the hospital as he grew worse? Aileen wished she could erase the memories of the doctor’s grim voice telling Mother and her the horrible news. And now, Mother had already invited a man and his daughter into Daddy’s place! Anger bubbled up.

Aileen didn’t know how long she lay there, hating the very existence of the two intruders in their living room. Maybe she even fell asleep. The soft knock on the door aroused her, and thinking it was Mother she called out, “Come in!”

Shocked, she sat bolt upright. The girl! The daughter of Mother’s date was standing in the doorway, smiling shyly. Aileen stared so hard that bolts of hate must have come out of her eyes.

“Hello,” the girl said, in a low, husky, surprisingly sweet voice. Sweet as sugar, Aileen thought with venom. “I’m Pepper. Your mother sent me up here…”

“Get out of my room.”

Pepper started at the pure fury on Aileen’s face. For a moment, she stood there.

"Get out of my room," Aileen repeated.

She rose to her feet silently. Just as quietly and even more quickly, Pepper closed the door.

___ ___ ___

Once again, laughter rang from the family room. Bitterly, Aileen perched at the top of the stairs, still dressed in her light blue gown. Her stomach churned, and she desperately wanted to cry. Brushing blond hair out of her eyes, she wished all of this was a dream.

She couldn’t forget the look in Mother’s eyes when she said ‘I do’ just this afternoon. The look that was reserved only for Daddy had been directed at Bill, the same boyfriend who had been the intruder months ago. Now Mother wasn’t Serena Flamour. She was Serena Elliot.

Aileen wanted to scream. For a moment, she smiled, imagining the reactions from downstairs if she did. She was no Elliot! Bill would never be her daddy, and Pepper would never be her sister. Even if Bill adopted her, like Mother wanted him to, Aileen would never call him her father.

All these months, she had tried to fight so hard. Yes, and it hadn’t worked. Mother had married Bill anyway. But that wouldn’t change the fact that Aileen hated Bill and Pepper. Hated. In the extreme.

So this was what hating felt like. It didn’t burn, it just gnawed. It felt cold, knowing that if she had a gun and if Pepper or Bill were alone with her…

Someone laid a hand on Aileen’s shoulder. Gasping, she looked up and almost fell down the stairs. Pepper stood over here, gently smiling. “Hey, Aileen. We were all wondering if you would play the piano for—”

Wordlessly, Aileen shoved past the taller girl and stalked down the hall. The door slammed behind her.

Pepper’s shoulders sagged in defeat. I try to be nice. It’s not working. Maybe I need a different approach…

___ ___ ___

Over the months that followed, Pepper and Bill slowly became a part of Aileen’s life. Whenever she saw them, Aileen steered clear. And although Bill tried to be friendly (‘trying to gain my trust so he can shatter me’, thought Aileen) Pepper was just as cold as she.

One night, Mother and Bill were out for dinner, and it was just the two of them at home. Silently, Pepper and Aileen nibbled on pizza, avoiding each other’s glances. Without warning, Pepper suddenly put her piece down with a thunk.

“Aileen, look at me,” she said. Aileen’s brown eyes rose to Pepper’s gray ones with puzzled resentment.

Taking a deep breath, Pepper realized that it was time she played out all the cards. “Look. I want to be friends with you. Seriously, I do. I know how you feel about this whole thing; remember, my mom died just like your father did. What I don’t get is why you keep giving Dad and I the cold shoulder. Can you explain why? Can’t we forget it all and be friends?”

Aileen stared down at her pizza, feeling the burning in her eyes. She wasn’t touched at all—she was so furious that she felt cold. Once again, that hate welled up.

“No,” she said, slowly and clearly. It almost felt as if she wasn’t the one speaking. “You’ve made my Mother forget all about my Daddy.”

Pepper sighed and leaned on her elbow. “No, I haven’t. Serena was just talking to me the other day about your dad. He sounds like a really awesome guy! Please don’t feel that way about me, Aileen! I hate this stand-off feeling!”

“And I hate you.”

And that was it. Pepper, dry-eyed, slowly got up from the kitchen table and went into the family room. Aileen finished her pizza, wondering why she felt even worse then she had before.

Just what exactly had Mother been telling Pepper?

___ ___ ___

“Aileen, come down here!” came Mother’s voice.

Aileen slowly crept down the stairs. It was ten o’clock at night, and Mother and Bill had just returned. Unhappily, she wondered if this was about Pepper and her.

To her surprise, Pepper and Bill were sitting in the family room, evidentially waiting for her. Aileen whirled and would have marched back upstairs if Mother hadn’t laid a hand on her arm. “Come and sit with us, dear.”

Apprehensively, Aileen picked the seat farthest away from Bill and Pepper and waited.

“Bill and I have caught wind of what’s been going on here,” Mother said calmly, perched beside her husband. She was looking at both of the girls, but Aileen realized that she was being directly addressed.

“We don’t want this to go on any longer. That’s why next week, Bill and Pepper will go out for dinner and father-daughter quality time. The night after that, Aileen and I will go. Is that alright with you too?”

“Sure!” Pepper looked eager to please.

Aileen nodded less willingly. Maybe if she could get alone with Mother, she could explain how she felt about this whole thing. Maybe she'd see if Mother really had forgotten Daddy. She knew one thing for sure, though. This 'parent-daughter' thing wasn't going to help things at all.

She would be very surprised when it helped in a way that no one expected.

___ ___ ___

It was a week later. A rap on the door made Aileen look up from her book. From the knock, she knew it to be ever-persistent Pepper. Stubbornly, she remained silent.

“Aileen?” Pepper peeked her head in anyway. “Dad and I are going out now. I…uh…just figured I’d say goodbye.”

Wow, Aileen thought. Pepper actually looked pretty. Her tall, athletic built was complimented with a slightly-flowing, olive green dress, and her black hair was down. With a jealous twinge, she thought of her own ordinary blond hair and short stature.

“So…” Pepper looked as if she regretted talking to her. “Are you going to say goodbye?”

Without a word, Aileen turned her back. The door shut softly, and she never thought it could be the last time she saw Pepper alive again.

___ ___ ___

It was closing in on eleven o’clock at night when Aileen was awakened by urgent shaking. She opened her eyes to see Mother, dressed in a robe and very pale.

“Aileen, there’s been an accident. Get dressed, and we’ll go to the hospital. Pepper’s in critical condition.”

It seemed like a dream. Aileen dressed herself in a daze. She hardly noticed that her hands were shaking. Was this real? Maybe Pepper would die! Strangely, she began to cry scalding tears as the pulled her hair into a ponytail. She had thought that she hated Pepper. She really had. Now, when it was possible that Pepper would die…she didn’t quite as much. Instead, she began to feel very afraid.

She would always remember the agony that her soul went through in that car ride to the hospital. Mom was sobbing in the driver’s seat even as she drove, but Aileen cried silently. It was in the car that she did some serious searching of her heart.

The waiting stayed with her for the rest of her life, and so did the awful feeling that Pepper would die. And when she did, what would Pepper tell God about Aileen? Oh, but she was sure God already knew the poison that she contained. Mother had always told her that He knew people more than they knew themselves.

But what she remembered most about it was when Pepper had asked for Aileen. There, in the hospital room, they started their relationship over…as sisters. And they prayed together.

___ ___ ___

A warm light shone from the window of the small house, and girlish laughter floated into the summer air. Mother and Bill were out celebrating their first anniversary, and Pepper and Aileen were alone at home.

Pepper, just turned seventeen, was reclining on the sofa, still chuckling from what Aileen has just said. No sign remained of the accident, save a long rakish scar down her stomach. She wiped her eyes, helpless with merriment.

“I can’t believe you thought that, Aileen! Was I really that bad?”

Aileen giggled. “No, not really. You actually were really nice, compared to how snobbish I was.” She sobered. “Pepper? Have you ever thought what would have happened if you didn’t get better?”

Pepper fingered her water glass, her gray eyes searching its contents for an answer. “Well…yes, I have.”

“I really was an idiot,” sighed Aileen regretfully. “I have no clue what I would have done if you had died. It’s awful to think that we had the chance to reconcile several times, but we never did until one of us was in danger of dying.”

“I guess the car accident was providential, huh?”

“Yeah, I guess it was. I might have realized how stupid I was being anyway, but would I have actually done something about it? Probably not. I’d just keep on putting it off for tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow almost didn’t come,” Pepper whispered. “And don’t say that it was your fault, Aileen. I had my share of foolish pride.”

“Oh, but who else caused it but me?”

Pepper smiled. “Well, it’s over, anyhow. And I must say, you make a really good sister!”

Aileen blushed. “Hey, the fact that you are too makes it easier!” She added slyly, “And I can almost see now why Mother fell for your dad!”

The laughter rang out once again, and the fireflies danced outside again. All was well.

_________________________________________________________________________

Thank you for reading! By the way, this story is (c) by me. You will not find me so amiable if you claim this as your own work falsely.

Izori

Contest over at 'Treble Clef'

Hi, everyone! Glad to say that my writer's block is miraculously over! No kidding, miraculously. I guess I must have had thinking block too, because guess what! I completely forgot to pray about it. Now I feel so inspired, I'm even working on my friend's script some! =) I'm sure she'll be glad to know that...

Anyway, the Cornet Crazie is having an awesome writing contest over at her blog, Treble Clef! Go and check it out! I'm planning on entering, and I'm actually very happy with my story.


Make your own banner at MyBannerMaker.com!

Thank you!

Izori

P.S. I just noticed I have 62 followers! Soooo cool!

I have title block...=(

Sigh. I have just about everything block. I only learned TWO lines of one of the Fifteen Two-Part Inventions by Bach yesterday. Two! Actually, that's not so bad, considering what these 'two part invention' things look like. Sixteenth notes, allegro speed, and if you know Bach, you know that he loves to make things harder than they should be. But I think that I could have learned more.

I also have some form of writer's block. It's almost like a disinterest or something. It's really odd. Nothing seems to be inspiring me that usually works. Prince of Egypt soundtrack doesn't work. Reading Lord of the Rings only made me want to give up because I could never write like J.R.R. Tolkien. Not even changing my screen saver works! It's really irritating, and it's a little scary.

What if this is the end of my interest in writing?

I know that some people want to write books when they're young, but then fizzle out forever. Take my mom. She was writing a cool book about this Spanish-American who was finding out information about her ancestor's journey to America*, and then she stopped. Will that happen to me?

I have several theories why I'm experiencing this. Number One: my headaches. They're no longer constant, due to my diagnosis of Vitamin D deficiency (and of course, the simply gorgeous pills I take! They look like translucent emeralds!), but I still get them. I actually am wondering if there's a connection between my headaches and sugar.

Number Two:...uh...actually, I have no clue. My only theory is the headaches.

So, for the next couple of posts, I'm going to re-post all of my tips and posts on writer's block in the past. It'll probably (hopefully) help anyone else with writer's block, and it just might help me!

Izori

*this book idea is (c) by my mother. I'm still hoping that she'll take it back up someday!

Happy 4th, everyone!

Well, this is kinda late. Very late, actually. I was down at my grandparents house for Independence Day, and we watched a spectacular local fireworks show.

What did you think of this 4th of July? Did you remember to thank God for our country? For the freedom to worship how we choose, and to live what we believe? Other countries aren't so fortunate. Yes, today our country may seem like a wreck. But thank God we're a country!

Ever wondered what it took for people to declare themselves free of a huge empire? That's like giving up your life. By all logical figuration, England could have just wiped us out. Do you think it's just coincidence they didn't? All those happenings wove themselves into a victory...and that gives us America.

God bless the U.S.A!

Izori